The Bad, Part II

(I know, I know . . . I took another hiatus! Shame on me!)

In part one I kind of introduced you to The Villagers (that's usually how we refer to them) and their sheer hatred of meters. And also their belief that we are fixing all the wrong things first. Case in point, I just had a gentleman in the office who was on the Board a few years ago who wanted to know "what hell was wrong with the generator" and why we have to spend money to fix it because "there's nothing wrong with it - change the oil and put a new battery in it". The generator in question hasn't run in a number of years and needs several things fixed. But I politely told the gentleman that I personally have no idea what may or may not be wrong with it, but that the guys would look it more in depth before winter hits and figure out what it needs.

That seems to have placated him for the moment.

As he left, another Villager called and spent the next 20 minutes telling me exactly who started one of the many rumors about those of us that work for the water company. We apparently need to make sure to wear our suits of armor because one of them is a "midget (I think the PC term is Little Person) with severe mental illness, who carries around a sword and a nigger-beater" and that her "husband/current boyfriend is a murderer" and that "they are both drug addicts". She believes that they've killed her cats because they accused her of doping their dogs when she took care of them after they over dosed on whatever drug of choice.

This has been my Friday afternoon.

And believe me, this is far from the worst of anything.

It began slowly, with Boyfriend talking to people about wasting water and issuing fines for doing so. A couple people started spouting off that Boyfriend has a bad attitude and he's menacing and harassing customers.

We took that with a  grain of salt. I mean, seriously, Boyfriend comes to town in the middle of the worst drought on record and tells people they no longer have "unlimited" water and that they can't wash their car in the street or water the road or drain their pool because they thought it looked crooked (yes, someone actually did that) or flood alley ways. Of course some people aren't going to like him. Duh.

The Board of Director's continued to tell Boyfriend to do his job and that if any customer gave him shit, to tell that customer that they could talk to the Board.

Part of this begins in May, when one Board Member resigned. According to our By-Laws, should a vacancy occur on the Board within 90 days of the annual shareholder meeting, then we have to hold an election. BUT, if the vacancy happens to occur more than 90 days from the meeting, then the two remaining Board Members can appoint someone to fill the empty seat. The appointed person would be confirmed at the next annual shareholder meeting.

One Villager expressed interest in being on the Board. The Board Members discovered that they lived outside of the subdivision and cannot be on the Board. In the end they appointed someone else. So this Villager comes to a meeting of the other water company and accosts us when we leave. He kept telling us we "can't do this to an American citizen". I think he thought that one of the reasons he didn't get on the Board was that he's a Cuban immigrant. We kept trying to tell him that the we had nothing to do with the decision and that he can come to our Board Meeting the following week and bring it up to the Board. Finally this Villager tried to push Boyfriend; when he didn't budge, the Villager then flopped himself against the wall and fell on the floor and claimed that Boyfriend assaulted him.

We both stood there like, "WTF? Are you serious??"

I lost my cool and said, "This . . . this here, is bullshit." And we left. And called the sheriff's department.

Later in June, Boyfriend and our other employee tell me that about 20 empty chemical buckets were stolen from the company. And not just from any part of the company - the wastewater treatment plant. My first question is, who in their right mind breaks into a wastewater treatment plant??? Boyfriend had kept the empty bleach tablet buckets to use for random things - carrying tools, hauling soil, or covered tomato plants so they wouldn't freeze. He had looked all over and couldn't find any evidence of forced entry to the treatment plant, which meant that someone must have either scaled the fence and made it over the razor wire or they had a key.

Of course, we're still dealing with the typical "you can't shut me off, so I won't pay my bill" customers; the "I pay my water bill so I can use as much water as I want" customers; the "You're gouging us customers to put money in your own pocket" customers; and my personal favorite, the "we're not in a drought" customers. You know, typical.

To be continued.....



The Bad, Part I

I alluded to some bad that has happened during my hiatus. Actually, a lot. First, here's some basics and a tiny taste of some of the negativity.

As I've mentioned, Boyfriend manages a small water company. It's a "mutual" so that means that all the customers "own" a piece of it. It's been run by the "good ol' boys" club for the past 40 years. They've never had a licensed operator to run the place and somehow managed to get away with it. Nothing was updated or upgraded. Band-aides were put on only when forced. Being so small, the state turned a blind eye. Until the last couple years. And the band-aides aren't working anymore.

Last year, the state finally inspected the surface water treatment plant and found some deficiencies - because it's 60 years old. Because of these deficiencies, when we have to use the river and run the treatment plant, we have to issue a boil advisory, per state law. Due to the drought, we've had to use the river to since March, about 4 months earlier than normal. We have 5 wells that, up until now, have provided adequate or near adequate water supply. But they are slowly running dry; two of them are dead in the water. One is consistent, and two are intermittent. If we don't get any rain this winter, by the first of the year we could be forced to use the river as our only supply. By law, we can only pull so much out of the river in a day; plus our plant is only designed to handle that maximum amount in a day. Any more than that and it just overflows and goes right back into the river.

Another problem is that when Boyfriend started, none of the customers were metered. Everyone pays a flat rate for what they believe is "unlimited water". No one has ever really been able to show these people how much water they waste. Earlier in the year, we instituted a strict water waste policy (well, strict for these people anyway), where if water was in the street, it's waste and fines are added to their account. We even made sure to take pictures to prove to people. They would argue about it while letting it continue to run in the street that they "pay their bill and therefore can use as much water as I want". Seriously.

A lot of changes have happened in a very short period of time. Boyfriend started last December, I started in April and the three Board Members have only been around a year or less each. They are all learning and have been surprised to learn how bad of shape the system is. They agreed to updating the water waste policy so that there were fines attached; they agreed to changing the due date (it used to be the 10th of the month and I suggested the 15th or 20th, they chose the 15th) and agreed that the due date should be enforced; they agreed to do public monthly board meetings, even though as a mutual, we don't have to; they loved the idea of a newsletter to go out with the bills; they want the water company to become a non-profit so we can pursue grant funding; they want meters installed.

All of us are aware that a lot of our customers have lived here for 20, 30 or even 40 years and they aren't used to the changes. They don't like and they don't want it. As one customer shouted during a special informational meeting about becoming a non-profit, "WE DON'T WANT METERS! WE DON'T WANT THEM!!" The anger over meters shocked the shit out of our panel. We had invited our attorney, our drinking water engineer from Ca Dept of Health, our waste water engineer from the Regional Water Quality Control Board, and a gal from Cal Rural Water Association; who are all in favor of us becoming a non-profit.

So what are people concerned with? Rates. That's it.

They associate changing to a non-profit with rate increases. They associate meters with rate increases. They associate grants with rate increases. They associate loans with rate increases. They believe we are fixing the wrong things first. They believe we're spending money where we don't need to.

They want an all new system with a guarantee of zero rate increases. They want us to replace the distribution system first because the pipes are old. However, our drinking water engineer says that is one of the lowest things on their list to fund, while things like new surface water treatment plants, new wells, new storage tanks - those are priorities.

We actually had some guy who, even after the difference between a grant and a loan were explained, said he didn't want to pay back a grant and would rather pay back a loan. He believed that it's fair that he pays $40 a month for water and two people live in his house, and a few houses down there's a house with 10 people living in it and they only pay $40 a month of water. He didn't believe, however, that his bill would go up at all in order to pay back the loan(s).

We have people that tell us that meters are a complete waste of money and they are inaccurate. We've installed approximately 35 meters. In July, we found 12 houses that used nearly 1 million gallons of water. One house alone used 240,000 gallons; the previous owner's son tried to blame that on the water company - that my guys installed a meter and broke pipes and refused to fix them. But Boyfriend didn't some looking around and discovered that someone had purposefully set the toilet to run non-stop. Meters have also shown some people just how much they actually use. One guy, who has one of the nicest and greenest yards was shocked to see that in two weeks he had used nearly 30,000 gallons. After that we noticed he cut back a bit.

We have not decided on a rate structure; that will probably happen sometime next year once meters are completed. We've been using a nearby water company's rate structure as an example since they are smaller than us. We've discovered that some people's bills would actually go down; some would stay the same, and yes, some would go up. But we're finding there are people who don't think it's fair to pay for the water that they themselves are using.

While this is just some of the negativity, there is more. Much, much more.

The Neighborhood Asshatery Continues

Continuing the Asshat Neighbor story . . . Last I left off, Boyfriend and I had gone over to the neighbors house to ask them to quiet the dogs only to be met with disdain and hostility. From the daughter.

The week of Thanksgiving, while I was at work, Boyfriend was fixing a flat on his truck. He had found a screw embedded in his tread. A fairly small screw in thick off-road-tire tread, which he figures couldn't have penetrated his thick tires under "normal" circumstances. No proof, though. He fixed the tire and decided to take his truck for a quick drive to make sure.

According to Boyfriend's Grandma, she watched the neighbor walk down his driveway while Boyfriend was still working on his truck. After Boyfriend left, the neighbor and his son came to the front door. Grandma answered the door and the man introduced himself "John Doe" (he said his first name and refused to give his last name).  He told Grandma that he wanted to walk the property line as he wanted to put his horse in the pasture to the side of the house. Grandma told him point blank she did not want him on the property. He rudely told her that we only rent the land the house sits on and that he had permission from our landlord to do so. Grandma asked him to not walk the property until she could confirm permission from the landlord as we, the tenants, had not been informed. The good pastor said he wouldn't wait and proceeded to walk to the pasture.

Grandma got on the phone to the landlord and his rental agent and left messages.

Boyfriend was driving on the main road and at one point while driving on this road you can see our barns and the back of the house. As he's driving back to the house on the main road, he sees two strange men around his old mud truck behind the woodshed. His thought was that Grandma was alone at the house and raced back. He grabbed his 9mm, kept it at his side and as he approached the pasture he recognized the good pastor.

Boyfriend simply said, "What the fuck are you doing on my property?"

The good pastor, making sure he was video-taping the entire thing, replied with, "Look there's (boyfriend's first and last name), brandishing a weapon for no reason."

Boyfriend said, "You're trespassing on my property."

Eventually the good pastor and his son left. Boyfriend went back to the house and Grandma told him what had happened. He put his gun away and went about his business.

A short time later, 4 Sheriff's deputies showed up. The good pastor made sure to watch the entire thing in the middle of the neighborhood street. They frisked Boyfriend and questioned both him and his Grandma. Grandma was pissed that they treated Boyfriend like the criminal when the pastor had been the one breaking the law. The deputies continued to question, Boyfriend and Grandma answered, and the good pastor watching from his ring-side seats.

Finally after much questioning, one of the deputies came out and said, "The good pastor says you shot his dog. Says he saw you do it."

Boyfriend replied, "Dog? I thought all of this was about his damn horse!"

The deputies then said that the pastor had been looking for his dog. Boyfriend told them that he hadn't killed anyone's dog and that the pastor wanted to look, the deputies could escort him around the property. That didn't happen, and the whole thing ended with the deputies talking with the pastor.

Grandma told the deputies she wanted to file a complaint against the pastor for trespassing. They told her it wouldn't be necessary as they had told him he had broken the law and to stay off our property.

Somewhere in all of that, both the landlord and his rental agent had returned Grandma's calls, stating that the good pastor has NEVER had permission to be on the property. In the past he has simply bullied previous tenants into allowing him to put his horse in the pasture. Which his horse has decimated the pasture and there's nothing but dirt in there now. Oh and lots of hose poop. LOTS. And damaged fence, which the good pastor told the landlord he'd repair and obviously has not.

And the story continues with complaints filed and restraining orders.

Seriously.

Oh, the so called dead dog? Still barking.

100 Things I Love About the USA: Part 4

I'm doing a series of posts about things I love about the USA. To catch up on previous posts, please click here. And in no particular order, I continue!

#15. We Americans love our freedom - but our freedom comes with laws. And over the years our politicians have created some very stupid laws. I cringe thinking of reasons why some of these laws were even thought of. But nonetheless, they are on the books and are always good for fodder. We even have books about some of our stupid laws from around the country. No really, these things are amazing. Here's a sampling:

Alabama: It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. (Seems like that one wouldn't need a law it's so obvious. But, hey, what do I know?)

Alaska: Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time. (Because apparently barbers were being harassed by the large kangaroo population up there.)

Arizona: Hunting camels is prohibited. (Yeah, I'm pretty sure the zoos frown on that sort of thing.)

Arkansas: It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas. (So, if you know it's not your word, don't go.)

California: Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. (Soooo, Mother Nature, who is responsible for these winter storms where we don't see the sun for days at a time, is being fined, right?)

Colorado: It is illegal to let your cat run loose in Denver unless it has a tail light. (That I want to see.)

Connecticut: A pickle is not a pickle unless it bounces. (Until then it's just a vinegar soaked cucumber, right?)

Delaware: Six year old girls may not run around without being fully clothed. (But any girls younger or older than that, they are totally down with running around naked or partially clothed.)

Florida: Well, Florida holds a special place in our hearts - and I couldn't choose from the laws I found, so, Florida gets multiple. Enjoy.

1. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. (However, a married woman may do so. Interesting.)
2. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. (Oddly, there are a lot of laws around our country that involve elephants. I'm extremely curious how many people actually owned elephants as pets.)
3. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit within the city limits of Sarasota. (Damn it. There goes my plans for summer.)
4. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (So the cross-dressing/transvestite crowd should find a new state? Seems a bit harsh.)
5. In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. (There goes my game of Charades I had planned!)
6. It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday. (But the other 6 days of the week are okay? Seriously?!)
7. It is illegal to have sexual intercourse with a porcupine. (Holy shit! WHY did this have to be a law? WHO in their right mind would do that?!)
8. It is illegal for a woman to bungee jump naked on Sunday before midday. (But it's totally cool for the afternoon and evenings.)
9. In Miami it is illegal to park your elephant on 8th Street on Sundays after 1pm. (Seriously, the elephants again? Was Ringling Brothers in town?)

Georgia: It is illegal to tie a Giraffe to a lamp post. (Well, I thought the fire hydrant was a little low for him . . . )

Hawaii: You will be fined if you do not own a boat. (And parking of all those boats won't be a problem, right?)

Idaho: It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds. (Guys, I know we like chocolate, but do this and you will die.)

Illinois: It is illegal to eat in a restaurant that is on fire. (I want to know what idiot did this.)

Indiana: Bathing is prohibited in winter. (I'm going to guess because it can get so cold. However, if it's still in effect, why isn't the entire state under arrest?)

Iowa: In the city of Marshaltown, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. (*insert crickets*)

Kansas: It is illegal to hunt whales. (Makes total sense being a land locked state. Y'all paid someone to think that one up???)

Kentucky: By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground". (So you can still crawl home, drunk as a skunk, but you're sober because technically, you can still "hold on to the ground", am I right?)

Louisiana: It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot the teller with a water pistol. (Either way, if you're dumb enough to get caught, you're still going to prison. Water pistol or no.)

Maine: You may not step out of a plane in flight. (This actually needed to be a law?!)

Maryland: You are not allowed to swear inside the city limits of Baltimore. (I'm guessing here, but I'm sure that one is broken all the time.)

Massachusetts: An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. (And yet, there's probably a man who has hair longer than most women in a mullet cut. And that's not illegal?)

Michigan: Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants. (Because there are so many alligators in Michigan.)

Minnesota: In the city of Minnetonka, anyone involved in allowing or being allowed to enter a massage therapist after 11p.m. is guilty of a misdemeanor. (Because what legit message therapist is open that late?)

Mississippi: It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is. (So does that mean they won't know that polygamy is illegal, too?)

Missouri: It is illegal to have oral sex. (Who monitors this?)

Montana: It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (hahahahahahaha!)

Nebraska: If a child burps during church, its parent(s) may be arrested. (Evidently they take church very seriously.)

Nevada: It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. (First, I thought one rode a camel. Second, I know Nevada is pretty much all desert, but camels aren't native to the USA, let alone Nevada.)

New Hampshire: On Sundays, citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. (Ooookay.)

New Jersey: It is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder. (I'm pretty sure that the murderer isn't concerned so much about this crime.)

New Mexico: In the town of Las Cruces, it is illegal to carry a lunchbox down Main Street. (But what if that's where you work?)

New York: Women may go around topless, provided it's not being used as a business (sorry hookers). BUT, it is illegal for women to be walking down the street in "body hugging clothing". (Yeah, makes perfect sense to me.)

North Carolina: Bingo games must not be longer than 5 hours, unless it is held at a fair. (I'm seeing a new reality show - Extreme Bingo.)

North Dakota: Beer and pretzels cannot be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant. (So getting drunk on an empty stomach is preferable?)

Ohio: It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (How many innocent fish got drunk until this law was passed?)

Oklahoma: In Clinton, it's illegal to molest an automobile. (WTF? Who does this?!)

Oregon: It is illegal for babies to be transported on the outside of a vehicle, like running boards, hoods, etc. (Seriously, who let those people procreate?!)

Pennsylvania: Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. (That's going to be a long drive.)

Rhode Island: It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley. (But the pickle itself is cool.)

South Carolina: Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. (That must have been a good sized bathtub and a well trained horse.)

South Dakota: Horses are not allowed at the Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants. (Because it's so easy getting pants on a horse. *facepalm*)

Tennessee: In Memphis, it's illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (I'm insulted but I'm laughing my ass off anyway!)

Texas: A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (So, how's that working out for ya?)

Utah: In Tremonton, it is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance and if you are caught the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper. (Yeah, that's totally fair. Jackasses.)

Vermont: Lawmakers made it obligatory for everyone to take at least one bath each week - on Saturday. (It's sad that such a law had to be put into place.)

Virginia: In Stafford County, it is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm. (Beg your pardon?)

Washington: All lollipops are banned. (Fun-suckers.)

West Virginia: It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. (W.T.F.?!)

Wisconsin: It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (Because I bet there were a lot of people that had been Sparkled to death.)

Wyoming: It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking. (For realsies?)

I (and other good women) have been insulted

Due to a sudden rash of "anonymous" comments, I'm now enabling comment moderation. Don't worry, no captchas to worry about, at least for now. These "anonymous" comments are complete spam, and one of them was actually quite offensive. My friend from Tilting at Windmills I know saw the comment I'm speaking about, and actually replied to the spam comment, calling the guy a "case" and stating "you're posting this on an American woman's blog".

Now, I know I shouldn't let what this asshat says get to me. But being that I've been hit with this spam multiple times, I think it's only fair that I get out my frustration.

I'm sure other bloggers out there have been hit with the "Boycott American Women" comment. I have been more than once. And to the douche-bag who posts the comment, you might want to take note of where bloggers live, and whether it's a woman's blog you're leaving it on. I'm sure that the reason you, as an American man (so you claim), hate American women is because you have a certain "type" you always go for. And it's this "type" who has used you and abused you and made you into the headcase you now are. I, however, am not this "type" of American woman. In case anyone is curious, this is what he basically thinks all American women are:

He believes that American women are mostly likely to cheat on you, divorce you, to get fat, to steal half your money, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. They are immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste.

Well. Alrighty then. Let's see, I've never cheated on anyone I've ever been in a relationship with. I've yet to be married, so I don't have a history of divorce and taking some poor schmuck for all he's worth. I have a little more on me to love, but I don't weigh a million pounds. I don't steal. I don't like to cook much, but I will. I do know how to clean. If I don't, I ask my mother and she tells me what works best. I do want children, but I'd prefer to be married. I doubt anyone who knows me would say I am immature. I try not to be a selfish person, but no one is perfect. I don't think I'm arrogant or self-centered (unless it's my birthday, but hey, it's my freaking birthday). I'm no more mentally unstable then the next person. I try to be responsible, and hopefully I am 99% of the time. And I'm about as freaking chaste as you can get, dude.

So, in a nutshell, this guy is a whack-job. And I'm sure in coming years as I continue to blog, I will be spammed with his bullshit comment about how horrible all American women are. Go find a therapist. Oh, and I'd love to see how long your mail order bride that can't speak English lasts - because it won't take long to see what a jackwagon you really are.

Thanks for insulting a GOOD American woman.

And before you ask:

 

Just so we're clear.

 

 

Track Your Package = FacePalm

I have discovered that the whole "track your package" thing is not only cool, but can be quite aggravating. Has anyone actually been waiting on their online order and tracked your package every day? Because sometimes it really makes NO SENSE whatsoever.

Just sayin'.

Awhile back, I went ordered a couple books on Barnes & Noble online. My order got to me in about three days. Awesomeness.

Eventually I wanted a couple more books, so I went back to Barnes & Noble online to order the next couple of books in the series. For whatever reason, the website never processed my order. Two freaking days later, I was still trying to place the freaking order. No joke. I even emailed their help center. That was a joke.

So, I did what anyone would do. I want to Amazon and made my purchase there. Unfortunately I didn't get my Barnes & Noble discount, nor the free shipping, but it was only a couple of books, no biggie. Fortunately for my temper, the website processed the order the first time round and then it told me that it would be 7-10 days shipping.

Oh. My. God. My heart dropped.

I kept telling myself, "don't worry J.Day, it'll get here sooner than that."

So, I tracked the package. Wow. I did a lot of face-palms for a week. Here's why.

As you can clearly see, it starts out in Kent, WA and makes it way to Sacramento, CA. Sacramento is about 5-6 hours south of me. I figured it would make it's way to either Redding or Reno and then up here to Sticksville. Wow, I couldn't have been more wrong. The damn package goes back to Kent, WA from Sacramento. Now, I can't quite figure why the hell it would go back to its original location. Kent is near Seattle, which is not far from the Canadian border, so we're looking at about an 11 hour drive from Sacramento to Seattle. So . . . I repeat, why would the package go 11 hours in the wrong direction?!

Then it eventually makes it to Portland, OR, then to Klamath Falls, OR, then to me. I mean, seriously? Talk about a wasted trip. Not to mention it had to bypass me just to get to Sacramento in the first place. I'm curious why it couldn't have just gone from Kent to Portland to Klamath to me in the first place. Wouldn't that have been, oh I don't know, more efficient?

Now, I recently went back to Barnes & Noble online for a couple more books in the series. Luckily for me the order was actually placed, I got free shipping plus my member discount, saving about $10 total. Not bad. I got an email last night saying it had shipped. I checked it this morning and it started in Sparks, NV (or Reno if that's more familiar to you) went to West Sacramento, up to Anderson and it tells me I should expect delivery tomorrow. Hot damn. No face-palms there. How simple. (Turns out it arrived a day before the "expected delivery". Talk about ecstatic!)

This whole "track your package" option is great. Until you watch your package travel a days journey in the wrong direction, and to make matters worse, it had just come from there. It's like watching a tennis match - the package just keeps going back and forth. And eventually, it will show up. Yikes.

Don't you hate to wake up to a "WTF" moment?

Last week I woke a wee bit on the pissy side. Because of a dream. I was also very confused as to why my subconscious did what it did. I'm still clueless because it refuses to let me in on it's sick little joke.

Nothing bad happened in the dream, but there was a guy there. A guy I loathed. Since grade school. A true ass-hat before the phrase was ever coined.

What's worse was that in the dream, he wasn't the ass-hat that I know. He was a relatively nice guy. Which made me even more mad that my subconscious would try to trip me up.

Okay, I'm not saying he's not a nice guy now, but I don't give a shit. I don't like him. At. All. Never have.

We first met somewhere in Elementary school in Redding. I don't remember much, just that he was a little jerk. Just like most boys in that age range. I think he moved before I did. I don't remember. I really tried to just believe he didn't exist. My parents and I moved after my 7th grade year was up, putting me in a new school for my 8th grade year.

And there he was. Still an ass-hat. As were a couple of other people I'd thought I'd gotten rid of because they'd moved before me.

Again, I just went about my business as if he didn't exist because I didn't like him.

I think it was my freshman year when I nearly punched his lights out. On the school bus. My fist stopped about an inch from his face, and there was fear in his eyes. He was probably afraid of his reputation - I mean, how would it look to get a black eye or broken nose from a girl in front of a bunch of his friends? Bad. Real bad.

I'm not sure what stopped my fist. But when I finished having my say, I looked up at the bus driver and her eyes were on me. I sat down and endured the ride home.

Why did I nearly hit him? He touched me. Not anything horrible or perverted, but I didn't want his slimy ass-hat fingers on my belongings let alone me. And considering he ignored my "take your fucking hands off me" line, I had no choice but to put the fear in his eyes. Oddly enough, for the next 4 years he never touched me, and I'm pretty sure he never spoke to me again, which was perfectly fine with me. He would give me "looks" as we passed between classes once in awhile and I'd either ignore him or if I was feeling particularly sassy, I'd flip him the bird.

So what the hell was my subconscious thinking putting this ass-hat into a dream of mine? Albeit a weird dream - quite weird in fact. I don't remember many of the details now, but a few things still stick in my mind. I mean, I know dreams are typically weird. And I've had stranger, weirder dreams. I've had nightmares where I wake up hyperventilating with silent tears streaming down my cheeks. Luckily the latter are extremely rare. But why would my brain pick some guy I haven't seen since graduation, never think of, and don't care anything about?

Not a clue. But I hope it doesn't happen again anytime soon.

Oh. My. Gawd.

Saturday's at the vet clinic can be a variety of things: slow, busy but easy, busy but rough, or downright insane. I'm putting this last Saturday on the downright insane list. Not only were we busy, but it was my day for the crazies and the talkers. You know the type: they never once take a breath while speaking the entire time their on the premises. I had not one but two of those.

Walking in I looked at the book and though, well, we're busy, but not insane. I think I may have jinxed myself.

Things were going well early on, but somewhere between 9am and 10am I noticed a slight spiral. First, I get this gal who calls in about a pregnant Yorkie who is having some discharge out her hoo-ha and they're not sure if this is normal. So this tells you that these folks are backyard breeders because they have no idea what they are doing. A person who has bred dogs before or is a professional breeder would know what's normal or not. So I took her name and number and told her I would talk with the vet, Dr. A and get back to her. Poor Dr. A has no idea as she's still a recent vet school graduate. So she starts looking stuff up. Eventually this gal calls back and then asks if they brought the dog in to be checked out how much it would cost and what would they do? I start by telling her the price of a regular exam, and then eventually hand her off to the vet. The vet then comes back to me and says this gal is coming in. They show up shortly before lunch, and I start taking down the dog's information as it hadn't been in before. When I asked a question, both mother and daughter answered in unison. Which of course I didn't understand because it wasn't perfect unison. I kept thinking, this isn't rocket science folks - just one of you answer me. The dog goes into the back and as I'm closing up for lunch the owners start panicking that we were going to leave the dog all alone suffering in the back. Seriously? I explained that we were giving her a drug to induce her labor and that we would keep checking on her about every 20 minutes, but that she did need some peace and quiet. I don't think the puppies survived as they were a bit premature - the vet did a c-section and then spayed the dog.

Also in the morning I had another gal call who literally never shut up. She had a service pet that was bleeding from it's rectum, and she had no money as her husband had taken $300 out of their account, and she was worried that her neighbor had poisoned her cat. She spoke so disjointedly about where she was from (as in, couldn't get the name of her town right the first time), the story of her service pet, and this cat that I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I talk to Dr. A and she said that we're not taking any new charge accounts, and to have her call the Humane Society to see if they might help her out. Now the first time I talked to her I couldn't get her to stop talking. The second time was just as bad. I called her up and told her that we are unfortunately not taking on any new charge accounts (this is ruined of course by the idiots who make us take them to collections/court over $30), and then she runs her story by me again, which I had already heard twice in the first phone call. I gave her the number of the Humane Society, telling her that maybe they can help her out. She calls back a little later saying the Humane Society was going to loan her the money and she'd pay them back. Then I heard the whole story again. I kept trying to get her off the phone as I had other lines on hold and people waiting at the front desk. I finally say, "Okay, well we'll see you when you get here," click.

While I'm dealing with that lady, another lady comes in for her appointment. I grab her file and say, "Are we seeing Mugsy?" She replies with, "No, she's dead. This is Sophie." Um. Okay. So while she doesn't shut the hell up either, I'm trying to figure out why she keeps telling me we've seen this dog before but I have no record of her. Finally she says to look in a certain file. I tell her that's the file I have - hers. Then she says to look in her mom's file. Um. Okay. Well, there's the dog's record. She has yet to shut her trap. I have no idea what the hell she's talking about, but she keeps talking. I, of course, have a ton of other things to do, and don't have time for her chatter. Finally one of the girls takes her back to an exam room, and she continues whatever she's saying to the poor girl as if she's been there for the whole conversation. Yeah. When she comes back out, she's still going. Non-stop. And continues as I'm trying to check her out. In my head I was screaming, SHUT UP! And go get me a Cosmo! I need a drink!!

After lunch (sans Cosmo) it was just busy. We were still dealing with the pregnant Yorkie, had our scheduled appointments, phones ringing off the hook, and random people coming in for shopping. Plus I had payment checks to enter not to mention other stuff to finish.

Around 2pm, the phone call gal came in - with the service pet. Turns out, this service pet is a cat. It's a therapy pet, suggested by her mental health professional. Yep. She was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. From the minute she stepped foot in the door, she wouldn't shut up. I heard the story at least once more. After that I just tuned her out, saying, "yeah . . . uh huh . . ." every so often. I was never happier to hear the phone ring. And guess what? She still rambled on while I was on the phone. While I was on the phone, a guy came up to the counter. Once off the phone I wrote up a ticket for him, and during that time, the mental lady was still talking to me. The guy kept giving me a funny look as I was trying so hard to concentrate on writing up the ticket, and I kind of just looked at him. One of the girls took the gal back, and she was still rambling. No joke. I'm not sure how the vet ever got a word in, but she did. Once we got her all squared away billing-wise, it took me forever to get rid of her.

Then at 5 minutes til 4pm (which is closing time), some gal walks in saying she needs to get her dog his shots. Dude. Really? When she tells me her last name I paused and checked the appointment book. She had an appointment. For 11am. OMG. Seriously? So I mention that fact, and she mumbles something that I can't understand. *grrrrrr* Luckily, because we were so behind, our vet had called in one of the retired guys who had popped in earlier in the morning. He was doing some cattle work that was scheduled at the clinic while she did that spay on that Yorkie. So I had the girl go get him to do the vaccines instead - on a dog that had on a serious muzzle and the gal could barely control. Yeah.

Oh. My. Gawd.

In the end, I realized there's just not enough chocolate or Cosmopolitans in the world.

My head hurts from all the talkies that wouldn't shut up.

Scary Water and Politics

Evidently Mexico is not the only place with water that you shouldn't drink. Or swim in. Or possibly be in the same zip code as.

Three people have died from a brain eating amoeba in the water.

What the . . . ?

This little brainless organism was discovered in the 60's, and it doesn't kill everyone it comes into contact with. Picky little buggers. But it seems that 3 or 4 people die each year from this single-celled organism as it climbs up their noses and eats their brains. One kid died after being dunked in the water at a fishing camp. Another after just swimming. And the last guy from using tap water for his "neti pot". The CDC found that it was just his house that was contaminated, not the general supply and suggests that only distilled or boiled water be used for "neti pots".

Moral of the story?

Plug your nose.

Know what else is scary? Brain eating Politicians. Now, normally I don't talk politics. One, because it's typically not discussed in my family, because in some cases, it's polar opposite views. Two, I'm pretty much of the "middle of the road" mentality. Three, all politicians lie to varying degrees. Four, it's getting worse - like to the point I'm ready to claim I'm Canadian. And five, it's just a really big can of worms, because it opens up all kinds of worm cans.

Politicians have always seem more full of hot air than the average person. However, the new crop of politicians for our Presidential 2012 race is scaring the heebie-jeebies out of me. The Republican front-runners, to me, come off as more Evangelists than politicians. And that kind of combination has me shaking in my Skechers.

Now, this where all the other worm cans get opened. Anymore, politics isn't just "politics". It's religion. I'm not sure how religion became such a huge part. Maybe it's always been there and I've just been completely blind. That's entirely possible. But this Presidential race seems worse than just four years ago. I myself am not very religious. I have never attended church, and it actually just doesn't appeal to me all that much. I do have decent moral compass and try to be a good person and citizen. I recycle my bottles and my cans. I don't make fun of people with disabilities. I volunteer when I can. I don't believe in cheating on a significant other. And I try not to hold other people's decisions or beliefs against them; I try to keep an open mind.

But this . . . this I don't get. I recently read this about Michele Gagman Bachmann:

“She’s a perfect product of the religious right…” In detailing Bachmann’s biblical world view that stemmed from Francis Schaeffer, “All reality is determined by theological starting point, and so basically every single aspect of public life, science, history, economics, everything is determined by your religious beliefs and only those with the correct religious beliefs can correctly perceive any sort of reality, and it’s a way in which you can dismiss huge swaths of history, evolution, you can basically say that anything that doesn’t fit with your ideology is the product of mistaken theological premise.” source

Call me crazy, but I'm not sure I understand. I understand religion plays a huge role in a lot of people's lives, but I'm not sure even the Pope is so extreme. What really confuses me is this:

" . . . everything is determined by your religious beliefs and only those with the correct religious beliefs can correctly perceive any sort of reality . . . "

Yeah. I don't get that. Just stick a dunce cap on me and stick me in a corner. Religion is one thing. Extreme is another. I'm not really sure I want someone who thinks that way to lead my country. Actually, I'm damn sure. Religion isn't really going to help get our country back on track, it will only divide the masses further. What the candidates should really worry about is the economy, jobs, the country's credit rating and debts.

God didn't have a hand that mess. Man did. So man needs to fix it.

So, if the world ends in 2012 as the Mayan calendar suggests, do we get to blame the world leaders (at the time) for that? Or an ancient civilization?

According to a recent poll, 35% of those who support Michele Bachmann thought the rapture was coming on May 21.

Yeah. That is scary.

Hmmm. Politicians or brain-eating amoebas?

Anyone got a coin to flip?