You wanna spay what?

Dogs? Yes. Cats? Of course! A horse? ..........

Wait - what?

The good doctor and I took what I believe to be an "odd" phone call this afternoon. A gal called inquiring about fixing a horse. And not just "fixing" it as in fixing a problem or a wound, she meant fixing as in spaying the horse.

Now, for those that may have been living under a rock for the past half century or so, it is highly suggest that you spay or neuter your pets. Um, pets as in dogs and cats. And for the those that are still in the dark, "spaying" is where the lady bits get taken out so she can't get pregnant, and "neuter" is where boys get cut so they can't impregnate half the neighborhood pets.

Oddly enough, "neuter" is the term for dogs/cats; "gelding" is the term for horses; "castrating" works for every single thing.

Anyway, back to the horse. A gal asked if the clinic could spay a horse. I was a little taken by surprise as I've never heard of anyone actually spaying their horse. I mean, yes, it can be done. Apparently the good doctor informed me that he's done the procedure before. I handed the phone to him and let him answer the lady's questions because I was obviously not qualified as I would have told her just the geld the boys. Far less invasive and much more cost effective.

I about coughed up a lung when I found out that it would cost a minimum of $600 to spay a horse. It costs about $90 for a dog spay, and that's a lot.

Apparently, the way they spay a horse isn't exactly like a dog or a cat. Dogs/cats get cut along the abdomen, just below their belly buttons. For a horse, they lay it on one side, and make an incision on the flank, and take out an ovary. Then they have to flip said horse over onto it's other side, make another incision on the other flank and take out the other ovary.

The "flank" area is the number 3, just in front of the hip.

 
Not every large animal clinic has the same set up for equine surgery. One clinic I worked for had a special padded room dubbed the "fall room" which was where we anesthetized horses and guided them as to the floor as they got sleepy. In essence, we were helping them fall to the ground so they didn't hurt themselves. Then their feet would be bound and they would be lifted on a hydraulic system and pushed to the padded surgery table. After surgery, the horse would be lifted again on they hydraulics and pushed back into the fall room to wake up.
 
The clinic I work for doesn't have that kind of set up, although I'm sure they'd be like kids in a candy store if they could get their hands on one!
 
The easiest and most economical way to prevent a mare (female horse) from getting pregnant is to keep her away from a stallion. Or house her with other mares or  geldings. No problems there. The least economical way is to spay the 1200 pound mare.
 
Although, there is another idea, and it's probably more economical than spaying a horse. That is to stick a sterile marble where the sun doesn't shine. I've heard of this being used on sport/show horses where owners/riders don't want the attitude a mare can get when she comes into heat. Yes, even mares get a little nasty. It's not just humans. Anyway, the idea behind the marble is that if there is this thing bouncing around her uterus, it fools her body into thinking she's pregnant. Therefore, she won't come into heat. Therefore she can't be bred because she won't ovulate.
 
So, before you go getting any bright ideas about spending a small fortune on spaying a 1200 pound horse, you might consider more economical ideas. Like keeping it alone. Working on the boys. Or sticking a marble up it's hoo-ha.
 

All Must Bow To The Overlord

Before I get to the Award portion of this blog, I would just like to wish  my Granddad a Happy Birthday. Today would have been his 86th birthday. My parents are taking Granny to a nice steak house in Redding (where Granny and Granddad always liked to go for birthdays or anniversaries), to celebrate Granddad's birthday.

So, I kind of took awhile to pay homage to this award that I received from the Frisky Virgin. I loved her post regarding this award, as she definitely put her own twist on it and definitely brought a smile to my face. Anyway, life got a bit crazy for a few weeks, and I had a moment where I vaguely remembered an award . . . so here I am.

As with most blog awards, there are a few rules to follow. They are as follows:

1. Thank the blogger who bestowed you the award.
2. Three changes must be made to our lives.
3. Bestow this award on 10 bloggers worthy of world domination.

So, first off, I wish to thank the wonderfully kind Frisky Virgin for bestowing this award on me. I adore the fact that she, too, is a huge Harry Potter fan and therefore, I shall overlook the fact that she likes vampires (example - True Blood, or possibly Twilight *shudders*). I shall also overlook the fact that she is a Dallas Cowboys fan, as she has grown up in Texas and does not know any other way than the wrong way. *wink* If you haven't checked out her blog, it's a must do on your list.

Second off Ahem . . . Secondly, I get to make three changes to our lives. You poor innocent suckers. However, I am Overlord, so put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Change No. 1:

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I'm serious here, folks. So many from the younger generations simply have no respect for anyone - not their peers nor their elders. I know that every generation goes through their teen years where the kids apparently know everything (hey I was a culprit, too), and the parents know squat. However, there's a fine line between that and the crap kids pull nowadays. From here on out, if you scream at your parent/guardian in public, refuse to take out those stupid little head phones from your iPod, throw a tantrum of any kind, refuse to do your chores yet still expect a raise in your allowance - anything that means anything to you will be taken away. Being sent to your room will not mean that you have the whole day to play your Wii or spend all day on Facebook or texting your friends. Any and all toys and electronics (especially the fun ones) shall be taken away so that you may learn from your lesson. If having refused to do chores, extra chores shall be added with no pay until you fully comprehend how disrespectful you have been. If you have thrown a tantrum in a store, and therefore embarrassing your parents/guardians, you must apologize to your parents (sincerely). Of course, this can only work if the child is old enough to speak, therefore understand they have done something wrong. If you tease your peers, you shall make a public apology to them.  If you think things will always be handed to you, that you don't have to do chores to earn an allowance, and can mouth off anytime you want, you have lessons to learn. If you want respect, you must first give it. It is not a right, it is a privilege.

Change No. 2:

To all those in the public eye;

Politics. Oh yes, I'm going there. If you have ever been convicted of a crime, you can no longer run for political office. If, while serving any term, you are convicted of a crime, you must immediately step down and admit to your stupidity - by wearing a Dunce Cap. If you take part in inappropriate behavior (such as texting pictures of your naughty bits, having secret affairs, etc.), you will immediately step down from office. If any of these politicians are lucky, they will be the next generation of fast food servers. Also, for legislature or congress that cannot pass a budget on time, will cease being paid. For ever day there is no budget, you do not get a single dime. That's why there are deadlines. DUH. Also, you will not be allowed to slash monies from the budget that are for health care, schools, or public safety officials (police, firemen, etc.). In fact, if you're past the deadline, what you would be paid will now go towards one of those three. I also declare that all politicians take a massive pay cut - you are a public servant, voted in - so why are you being paid so much?! If you can afford a house, a vacation home in the Hamptons, can afford European vacations, and a limo, you are being over-paid. From here on out, you will take yourself to work - limos will not be allowed (okay, the President gets one). If the working man/woman must struggle to pay their bills so that you can have your mansion and vacation homes and $200k sports cars, then you must struggle, too. As of now, all politicians who have a vehicle that cost in excess of $50k, must sell it and give all proceeds to the budget. All second homes, same thing, we'll put that money towards the national debt. Cough it up.

I hereby declare that in addition to the politicians getting their pays slashed, that all corporate CEO's are to adhere to said rules, as well. Each of your 5 homes can house families that were affected by natural disaster tragedies.

And you know what, this also goes for famosity. This is yet another privilege, not a right. If you abuse your famosity, you will no longer be deemed famous and be sent to work washing cars or flipping burgers. There will be no MTV or VH1 show looking for you 20 years later, either. If you have a "wardrobe malfunction", your famosity will be on probation. Your stalkers (this includes the paparazzi) will help the authorities keep tabs on you during your probation period (unless they actually pose a physical threat; and as for the paparazzi, they will  be used only to keep tabs on problem stars, they will no longer be allowed to chase down stars and cause accidents). Famosity shall not be granted if you take part in some stupid reality TV show like the Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of Whatever, Jackass, Ice Loves Coco, 16 and Pregnant, and any show dealing with tattoo parlors or nail and hair salons. In fact, all reality TV must be approved by me and other Overlords (my hand picked panel).

Change No. 3:

Everyone will learn that farmers and ranchers feed the world. They will no longer be encroached upon or complained about. If those ranches or farms were there before you moved in, you have no right to complain about smell or animal or tractor noise. You will no longer whine about the amount of water agriculture uses. That water is making crops grow that feed you, or that feed the animals that eventually feed you. You will no longer whine about how much land they take up, because it takes land to feed the world. These people bust their chops and get no thanks from anyone. So therefore, I declare a new National Holiday - Rancher & Farmer Appreciation Day. No, you know what? They get a week. Also, all schools - especially city schools where agriculture is not in their backyard - will be educated about where their food comes from, including field trips.

And now, to pass this award onto 10 bloggers that I deem worthy:

Canadian Blogger Girl

It's An Average Life

The Adventures of Cinderita

On My Soapbox

Happy Dying Sun

Drake's Doomsday Corner

Dribble

Simple Dude in a Complex World

Are You Serious

The Life and Times of A. Nighbert

Potato Salad Anyone?

For those of you that don't know (which would probably be all of you), Dean Koontz is one of my favorite authors. I'm always lying in wait for the next book to come out in paperback. Which, come to think of it, there should be a new one in paperback pretty soon!

Anyway, I "like" his Facebook Page, and I saw this post from him recently:

"As of today, more than one million friends have joined my Facebook page. I'd like to meet you all. I'm thinking about a picnic. It'll have to be summer of 2012 because I'll need time to make 400,000 pounds of potato salad. I'll start tomorrow."

1) That's a lot of "friends". 2) I cannot even fathom what 400,00 pounds of potato salad looks like. and 3) Um, wouldn't it just be a wee bit easier to make a potluck? Although, coordinating that potluck would be very un-fun.

Oh. My. Gawd. Seriously?!

What on earth would posses someone to wear this in public?!



If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

Thursday was my Granddad's funeral service. It was one of the hardest days my family has gone through. Once I made it to the cemetery, I couldn't stop crying. I think the finality of it hit me. It was a nice service, over 100 people showed up to pay their respects. I got lots of big hugs from my family and friends. I swear that all the best huggers in the world bred and became my family. We had a nice gathering at Granny's house afterwards, probably 70 people or so. My parents had the most wonderful friends who brought food for Granny, and also stayed at the house to help out during the wake.

I know I will miss him and love him forever. He was an excellent example of courage, strength, dedication, and determination. Without any of those things, he never would have walked after his plane crash, or raised his family. And if Heaven weren't so far away, we could still keep in touch. But I will have to make do with knowing that he is watching over me and my family, and that he is flying any plane I hear.

Thank you for bearing with me, and for your thoughts and prayers. It is all so much appreciated.

My Granddad

First of all, I'd like to thank those than commented on my last post. They meant a lot to me at a hard time.

Granddad around 19 yrs old. Circa 1944.

My Granddad passed away on Thursday, June 9 around 5:30pm. All of his immediate family was with him. My dad, his brother, sister (who flew in the day before), his two granddaughters, and his wife of 65 years.

Granny & Granddad at a recent Christmas.

Throughout the entire week, a plethora of family and friends flooded his hospital room. Until Tuesday, he was able to recognize people and sometimes could speak to them. He blew me kisses and smiled at me. My parents spent several nights in the hospital, by his bedside. My aunt and uncle stayed with Granny, never leaving her alone. I would stay at my parents house, taking care of animals at night.

My parents took them to the coast recently.

He was a highly respected man; his grandchildren and nephews and nieces all gravitated toward him.  He was married to my Granny for 65 years. He worked hard every day of his life. He was literally a walking miracle - on June 10, 1949 Granddad was in a plane wreck that broke nearly every bone in his body. Two doctors walked away saying he'd never make it. He was pronounced dead three times. He lived. They said he'd never walk again. He did, with a wooden leg. With Granny, he raised three wonderful kids. And he was one of the greatest Granddad's his two granddaughters could have asked for.

With Granddad on my 28th birthday.

He fought so hard for so long to walk and work. Even as old age crept up on him, he never stopped trying. In the end, it was an infection that beat him.

I (and my cousin) was so blessed to have him as a Granddad. He gave me my nickname - Charlie Brown. It breaks my heart to know he's no longer with us. But I know he's in a better place. A place where he has two legs, no holes in his arm (from a gunshot wound), no phantom pains, no ailments whatsoever. But I'm a selfish girl who would still love to have him around.

Live it up, Granddad. You deserve it. ox

Quick note.

Just a quick post to let all of my super wonderful followers that I won't be around much - to read or write blogs.

My Granddad is in the hospital and it's tough going. I drove to Redding to be with family, and I really do have to say that my family (and my BFF who I consider family) gives the best damned hugs. EVER.

Anyway, I'm taking some family time, but I will be back. Please keep my Granddad in your thoughts and prayers.