Living With Grandma

Last fall when Boyfriend and I started looking for places to move to, Boyfriend brought up an idea to me. To move in with his Grandma. That way we could afford to rent a house with a couple acres. His Grandma was living in an apartment complex which was becoming overrun with extremely rude college kids BBQ-ing at midnight and serenading the complex from the hot tub room at 2am.

I agreed that we could all help each other out, so to speak. And in all fairness, Boyfriend did tell me his Grandma could be a terrible person. He did warn me.

Again the old adage is true - you don't know someone until you live with them. Nor can you know or understand their insanity.

It started about two weeks after she moved in. She called Boyfriend a bully and told me what a horrible housekeeper I was.

I'm no "Suzie-Homemaker" by any stretch of the imagination. However, I clean house once a week - this includes cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, dusting, and mine and Boyfriend's bathroom. I keep a decently clean house. Is it perfect? Not by a long shot. But then again, I was working 7 days a week. We're all just lucky I had the energy to do anything. As for Boyfriend, he's not a bully and I'm not sure where her insinuation came from.

Things were okay for a little bit. Shortly before Christmas, Boyfriend brought home a kitten from one of his employees. The poor thing was only about 6 weeks old. Boyfriend bought a litter box for him and some canned food to get him through a few days. I bought some kitten chow, a collar, and a few other things for him. Eventually the kitten started pooping behind and underneath the Christmas tree. Grandma had said we should put the litter box under the tree. I made a comment about how I'd rather the cat box not be under the tree. My thinking behind that was that I'm the one who cleans the damn thing, I don't want to climb under the tree to do so. Ten hours later, she completely blew up at me and threw my apology back in my face so hard I'm pretty sure I got whiplash. She said it was obvious that I didn't know how to raise a cat because of the one that hides in my bedroom.

Now, pretty much everyone has been told how I came to be Miss Harriet's human - she was dropped off at a Petco in Sacramento. One of my friends that worked there took her home and hounded me until I took her. Miss Harriet is the kind of cat that prefers to be the only animal in the house and prefers to have only one human in the house. More than one human means it's too noisy and whatnot for her and so she'll often hide. Whatever her issues, she's a decent cat and I've had relatively few issues with her. I had to get used to her neuroses and learn to live with her. And whatever her faults, she's been my cuddle-bug for the last 9 years and something I can come to.

(now come to find out the previous owner of the kitten had the litter box under the damn Christmas tree. had I know that when we first got the cat . . . . oh and once the tree was gone? Kitten stopped pooping in the corner under/behind the tree.)

Boyfriend kept telling me to not take anything that Grandma said personally, but I can honestly say it was very hard not to do so.

Christmas turned into a fiasco where Grandma wouldn't sit with the rest of us at the movie theater - I'm pretty sure she didn't want to see near me because she still wasn't speaking to me.

Things were okay after the new year for a short bit and suddenly Boyfriend's mom told us the things Grandma was saying about us. We were terrible to her, wouldn't talk to her, stopped talking as soon as she came in the room. She was convinced I was sneaking into her room and opening her bedroom window to freak her out. I'm still a terrible housekeeper and I'm not good enough for her grandson. His poor mom got thrown smack in the middle of everything.

Last week Grandma gave her 30 days notice and is basically sticking us with $1600/mo rent. And we found out about her leaving by accident. I was home alone and answered the phone to find out it was a local retirement community calling her in regards to her "interest" in their community. I left her a message about it. When she got home I could tell she was pissed. Pissed that she got caught plotting behind our backs. She didn't talk to either one of us for two days. But his poor mom heard about it.

So, Boyfriend decided he wanted to buy a house. He has a lot of money saved up for it and he'd like to move up to the area he now works, about 45 minutes west of Redding. We've looked at one so far and we're hoping to look at another one or two this week. He's working on getting a loan, so hopefully that will come through. The only thing that could prevent anything is that he's only been at the water company for two months.

There were a few days where Grandma treated Boyfriend like crap and I was her BFF. Now it's the opposite and she won't speak to me. Again.

We had tried to help her get out of an aggravating situation. Now we're just "using her for her money" and "ignoring her" and all sorts of things. Boyfriend and I are both very upset as to how all of this turned out. I'm not excited about moving again as it's only been three months since we moved in. I've already started packing a few things, but it's hard to know what to pack and when until we find out about the loan.

Until then, we are trying to get through each day. Trying to be quiet enough for her, trying to not piss her off somehow, you name it. It's a pretty sucky situation. Lucky for Boyfriend she's apologized to him as to how things turned out. I doubt I will get one so I'm not going to hold my breath. She's yet to accept any apology from me, so it's pointless to keep trying. I am sorry to see things go south and I'm upset by what she now thinks of me. I take it personally even after Boyfriend's mom says that she (Grandma) has interfered in all of Boyfriend's past relationships in a similar fashion. I just hope that someday, she won't feel that way and things will be as they were before we all moved in together.

So, here's to moving. Again. And keep your fingers crossed about that loan. We need all the good loan juju we can get.