Is this proper dinner conversation?

Well, this was technically post dinner and I believe post dessert discussion, but either way . . . it was funny and probably not found at the average dinner table.

I really have no recollection of how this topic came up, but at some point we ended up on Eskimos. It started off innocent enough, and then it turned into them gnawing on things. So, K's brother said, "A good Eskimo wife would chew on her husbands boots to soften them up for her husband in the morning." 

Someone said they call their boots "mukluks".

That's when Papa D looked at K and asked, "Would you chew on my mukluks tonight?"

There was a pause from all four of us and then sheer laughter. Papa D laughed and said, "That didn't sound right, did it?"

K's brother started say something about mukluks, but nearly spit out what sounded like "muknuts", which sent us into a tizzy. K had to dab her eyes she was laughing so hard.

So, um, we're just going to refer to those things as boots, okay?

My Weekend Off and My Blogoversary!

I apologize for lack of posting around these parts. I was kind of in a funk last week. Like an "I really don't want to play on the internet" kind of funk. As much as I enjoy being up here, I was really looking forward to seeing friends and seeing Harry Potter. So the week just seemed to drag. And drag. Father Time's sick joke.

Anyway, funk is over! Yay!

I drove to Redding Saturday after work. Sunday I had lunch with a good friend who lives out of state (the angelic college roomie versus the pyshco one), and bonus - my BFF was there to join us for lunch! My old roomie brought her little girl, who is absolutely adorable. Like her picture is next to the word adorable in the dictionary. Us three girls had a good lunch. For my BFF and Roomie it had been about 8 years since they'd seen each other. After lunch, BFF and I hung out for another couple hours and did a wee bit of shopping. And because it was so dang warm, heaven forbid should Penny's have their air conditioner on. I broke a sweat shopping. Later I spent an hour in Target cooling off. Then it was a nice dinner with Granny.

Monday was Harry Potter day. Well, afternoon really. I enjoyed the movie, and cried like a baby. If you've read the book or seen it already, I'm pretty sure you know where I was crying. So the last Harry Potter thing I have to look forward to is Part 2 coming to DVD. However, I'm sure in 20 years or so some genius will get the bright idea to remake them all. And my future children will be embarrassed that their mother would be camping out to get a ticket to make sure the future genius didn't ruin them. Yeah.

Anywho, it's back to work as usual. The next big thing to happen around these parts will be the fair next month.

And because of my funk, I missed blogging on my one year Blogoversary! Sunday marked my one year. I can't believe I made it this far. And y'all are still here. And I haven't had to pay any of you. Which means y'all are flipping awesome. So, to commemorate my Blogoversary, I'm adding to end of this post my very first post, which I'm going to guess many you haven't read because it's buried in the archives and you guys have jobs and blogs of your own and such.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Stainer Conversation


Have you ever been sitting at work, doing your job, when suddenly a conversation pierces the radio you're listening to? And that conversation makes you stop, roll your eyes, shake your head, and almost start talking to yourself? Out loud. Where your co-workers could possibly hear you. The other night, at work, this very thing happened. Although I may have mumbled a few things out loud . . . hopefully not loud enough for anyone to actually overhear said mumbles. Here's the set up:

Two ladies are hollering at each other over machines in regards to a stainer that stains blood smear slides. For anonymity's sake, I shall call them Lady 1 and Lady 2.

Lady 1: Is there something wrong with your stainer?
Lady 2: I don't know. Is there something wrong with my slides?

Lady 1: There's something wrong with your slides. I think there's something wrong with your stainer.

Lady 2: I don't know what's wrong. What's wrong with my stainer?

(At some point Lady 1 comes to Lady 2 to try to figure out what is wrong with said stainer. Turns out, the stainer was out of Methanol, which fixes the blood to the slide so it won't wash off when the slides go through the actual stain cycle and the rinse cycle. There was a long pause in this conversation because apparently neither lady knew where the Methanol was stored if it wasn't in the magical cabinets within our department. When they find some, Lady 1 has Lady 2 refill the Methanol in her stainer, and the conversation proceeds . . .)

Lady 1: You're slides are still messed up. Did you prime the stainer?

Lady 2: Is priming cleaning?

Lady 1: Yes. Cleaning is priming.

Lady 2: How do I prime?

Lady 1: Just prime the stainer.

Lady 2: So priming cleans the stainer?

Lady 1: What? No. Priming isn't cleaning.

Lady 2: So what is priming?

(Now mind you, at least three people who are hearing this conversation know the difference between "cleaning" and "priming". For starters, there's a button that says "CLEAN". And there's no direct button for priming. Also, these three people -including myself - are chuckling to ourselves because this all sounds totally ridiculous. They are literally hollering to each other over machines. And any one of us could easily have walked to the stainer and shown Lady 2 the difference and how to do it. Yet . . . we didn't. And finally Lady 1 comes back to the stainer . . .)

Lady 1: We need to prime the stainer. It's washing the blood off the slides.

Lady 2: I've been telling you I don't know how to prime. Isn't priming cleaning?

Lady 1: Oh . . .no, it's not. I have it priming, just clean it when it's done.

Lady 2: What do I do to clean it? (Oddly enough, she actually does know this, but by this time I'm not sure she could find the stainer, which sits right next to her, considering Lady 1 has her turned upside down).

Lady 1: Just clean it once it's done.

Lady 2: It won't let me clean it, I have to prime it again.

Lady 1: Why are you priming again?

Lady 2: You want me to clean it after priming?

(By this time, I'm ready to either burst out laughing or scream in frustration.)

Lady 1: (back at stainer) I'm cleaning it. Stain some slides when it's done and I'll check to see if your stain is ok.

Lady 2: So you don't need me to clean it?

Seriously. Almost sounds like a horrific version of "Who's on First" to me. Yes, granted, I could have stopped it. Two others could have stopped it. However, we were busy. And though it was annoying as hell, it was also quite entertaining. Because at some point it really hits you as to who is having this conversation.



They're your supervisors.

Is it the weekend yet?

I am so excited about this weekend. I kind of wish Saturday were here already just so I can kick start my weekend. However, it's only Tuesday.  Because Father Time is mean.

Why am I excited? Good question.

I get to see two friends on Sunday - my bff and my first (angelic) roommate from college. I'm always stoked to see my bff, and I've only seen her once since I've moved to Sticksville. As for my old roomie, we see each other twice a year if things go to plan. Her and her hubby (and daughter now, too) come to CA to visit their families, and she and I try to get together for lunch while she's in town. Yay for friend time!

Next, I'm taking myself to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 at some point. Oh yeah. I'll be smuggling in my own popcorn and candy. I'm both happy and sad to see Harry Potter coming to end. I've enjoyed the books and the movies (well, except for small bits of #6), and hate that I will no longer have new Harry Potter movies to look forward to.

I'm also going to wash, wax, and shop-vac out my car. Yeah, it's a bit strange to actually look forward to washing an SUV by hand, but I like my car to be clean. Plus it really does need a wax job. And a vacuum. Bad.

So, is it the weekend yet?

Wahoo!

Today (Thursday) marks the day that I officially sold an ad all by my little lonesome. Literally. K dropped me off at the location, so if they didn't sign a contract I'd have to sit there until she came back, wallowing in shame. I can't take all the credit, as Papa D knew they were interested in advertising, but it's the kind of store that sells techy-type gadgets and he doesn't necessarily speak "tech speak". Well, I'm not that great at it, but I'm more tech savvy than he is.

Anyway, I'm just "Wahoo-ing" out in the blogosphere, because I thought it was pretty cool. It made the whole house happy, hearing about a new advertiser - for a full year!

Doesn't "manic" belong to Monday??

When I go into Job 3 every weekend (aka, the vet's office), it's a toss up as to what kind of day it will be. It could be so slow we're literally sitting around with nothing to do but twiddle our thumbs. It could be just busy enough to keep us going with a few minutes here and there to breathe. Or it could be a pull-your-hair-out kind of crazy busy day with your lunch hour being the only breathing time  you'll get until you clock out.

Two weekends ago, it was so slow. Like agonizingly slow.

Last weekend I could barely remember my own name it was so crazy busy.

I walked in just before 8am and set my stuff down. I glanced at the appointment book and my jaw dropped. We were double-booked for nearly every appointment. I went from shock to annoyance as I went to get the money from the safe. The doctor came in and started treating the parvo pups we have in quarantine. After awhile I asked him if he knew he had two ranch calls between 8 and 10 to vaccinate and de-worm a bunch of horses. He knew nothing about it. It was that time that his first ranch call phoned us and asked when the vet was coming out . . . yeah. He finished treatments and ran off. We then get a phone call for the tech to take him a bunch of stuff as the owner didn't have it on hand.

Our regular appointments started showing up before the vet got back. And the phone rang off the hook - with people who wanted an appointment that day. *sigh* We were just lucky that people were understanding of how busy we were.

Of course, as annoying or difficult it can be to get a client in with a sick pet or a pet with a nasty fox tail in some orifice, at least they call ahead of time. It's the people that show up without calling and no appointment that can be a little more frustrating. One family brought in a sick pup - after having been sick for several days post surgery and having been tested for parvo numerous times, guess what it finally tested positive for? Parvo. She joined the ranks. This is a nasty time for parvo.

In the afternoon we had some travelers pop in saying there were spots in the dog's eye. Now, if your just passing through, I can sort of understand stopping by the vet if something funky arises. But it would nice if they found the number and called us first. Then about an hour before we closed some guy pulls up with a stock trailer. I had nothing else scheduled as I figured we'd still be working on our appointments (which we were). This guy comes in and asks if the doc could Bangs 6 heifers ("bangs" is a vaccine for cattle). I gave a face and went to ask the vet. He just looked at me, like "are you serious?!" But he said okay, asked to have the cows ready in the chute for him out back. Not 10 minutes later, some gal drives up with a horse trailer saying her horse is lame and she needs to have the doc look at her mare's leg. No appointment. The vet was still in back treating a patient, so I went back there and told him about the gal and her horse. He asked if they had an appointment, and I said they didn't they just showed up. He shook his head and sighed saying that they'd just have to wait. Turns out it's a chronic issue with that horse, not an acute sudden issue. *sigh*

Or there was the young gentlemen who brought a puppy in for it's first set of puppy shots. And no, Jewels, they aren't up to par for dating material. They came in saying they had an appointment for 10:30, and when I asked their last name, it wasn't on the book. They claimed they had been there yesterday and the gal had told them to stop by the next day at 10:30. Yeah, I got the whole story from the high school helper later. Anyway, I had them fill out new client stuff so I could get them all entered in. Apparently while I was slammed with checking people in and had my back to the other side of the room, those two dimwits left without paying! I know it was on purpose and it annoyed me.

I was never so happy to see closing time hit. I literally ran to lock the front doors so no one else could walk in and ruin our peace. I spoke with the tech about the booking issue. She told me that just before closing on Friday, she had noticed we were tripled booked for Saturday. All day long. Well, for a good portion of the day, we still would up triple booked. Poor doctor never had a chance. The issue is that there are two new receptionists during the week. The one that trained me has recently decided to leave to be nearer to her family. So that left two new people with no real trainer.

Even today, I called them to verify appointments for Wednesday in Sticksville. Those girls had started booking us appointments at 9 a.m.! The doctor doesn't get in until around 8:30 and then we're typically doing surgery until near 10. After we verified appointments, I told the girl, "FYI, I wouldn't schedule appointments for us until 10 as the vet doesn't get here until closer to 8:30 and then we unload his truck and then he's in surgery." She said okay and that she was still new. I told her very nicely, "Oh I know, and I know it's daunting. I'm still fairly new myself - only been with the clinic a couple months. But just for future reference...." Turns out my surgeries cancelled so, the early appointments work out this week. Sheer luck.

Now, I like being busy at my jobs, it makes the day go by faster. Well, typically. But there's this fine line between twiddling one's thumbs and wanting to dive into a vat of chocolate to relieve stress.

It's my 200th Post!!

I have reached another milestone in the blogosphere, my 200th post! And in a couple weeks, I'll be celebrating my one year blogoversary. Another milestone I reached not too long ago, was my 1000th comment - which I believe was the Queen of all Snarkiness, Empress over at The Ranter's Box.

But, this is my 200th post and I'm taking it easy. So, first off, I'm throwing a big ol' party and blog  pimpin', and foolishness. I've got us a DJ, some finger foods (the only rule is no double dipping in the dips!), and I even splurged for some good old fashioned liquor for us all. I'm making some mean margaritas, who wants?

So, here's a few videos about partying.

So what are y'all waiting for?! Y'all come on over, shake your ghetto booty, pop a top, pimp out your blog, and have a good time.

Just don't mess with the bull.

Beware - it may blow up in your face

I had some family visiting over the weekend - family I don't get to see too often. It was a really nice visit. Too short in my humble opinion. I still had to work on Saturday at Job 3, so I only got to visit with them Saturday evening and Sunday morning before they headed out.

And for their 'relaxing' weekend, my Uncle S and cousin's hubby R broke out chainsaws to cut up a tree that split in two in the last windstorm. (Trust me, I was seriously worried I'd be blown off to Oz, and instead of it being Dorothy and Toto,  it was going to be JDay and Harriet . . .)

We went out to dinner Saturday night, and laughed so hard my tummy hurt and my cheeks burned. R had lots of hilarious stories, one in particular dealing with leotard ski pants and a Carhartt jacket. R's son, G, got to ride around on the ATV several times - grinning from ear to ear. He got to see the cows, feed the bottle calf, and pet horses. He had a great time.

After dinner, N (my cousin) and R followed me to my house so R could work on my swamp cooler. There have been quite a few days where I'd wished to have it working as my house would be so hot that I would be hot while doing nothing. Like sweating bullets. Anyway, R was a total sweetheart and got it working. And while he worked away (he even broke out his skilsaw for the board in my window), N and I got to have a nice little visit. It's rare that she and I are alone and visiting.

After R got the swamp cooler up and running, he explained to me how to keep it maintained and whatnot. I've been spoiled with central air conditioning my whole life. No judging. We went into the dining room and he explained the controls. So there we were, our faces mere inches from this swamp cooler, and he turned on the fan. On high.

WHOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A cloud of dust shot in our faces. We both let out a cry of shock. Okay, I screamed. But either way, we both got dust in our eyes, noses, and mouths. I was suddenly doubled over laughing my patootie off - realizing that we should have expected that. R immediately went to the kitchen to wash off his face.

Once outside, N told us she'd seen it from outside, through the front living room windows and she heard the screams. (Okay, she heard mine) She said it was pretty darn funny. I couldn't stop giggling about it the rest of the evening. I had to wash my face and brush my teeth after that incident though. Although I swear I was still chewing on some grit when I went to bed later.

Guac? Yuck!

When I'm at Job 3 on the weekends, I sometimes like to treat myself to eating out. I don't eat out a lot anymore - not since moving to Sticksville. Mostly because there's not much to choose from. But also because Papa D and K feed me. And K is a pretty darned good cook. And she puts up with my "persnicketiness". God Bless her.

Anywho, there are a few options when I'm in Town to eat at. There are a couple of sub shops, a couple of burger joints, a Mexican restaurant, and an Italian place, even a Chinese restaurant. Since I could live off burgers, I typically enjoy a nice burger when I go out. Or I'll hit a sub shop.

Awhile back, I went in to one of the sub shops and asked for a turkey sandwich. The sandwich moves down the line, although I don't because the line of people is actually quite long. I can't see over the counter because I'm too short. I can't see through the glass for all the stupid stickers. As I finally edge over to see the third set of hands touching my sandwich, I see her with the icky green stuff - guacamole.

As the knife is in the air with that icky stuff on it, heading towards my sandwich, I said, "Oh, no guac please."

She didn't hear me because that nasty green stuff got spread all over my sandwich. All I could get out was "NONONONONONONONONONO".

I not only caught the young girl's attention, but everyone else in the sub shop, too. I also scared the poor girl. She stared at me with the deer in the headlights look. I finally could put together a cohesive sentence and told her, "I don't want guacamole." She started scraping it off, apologizing profusely. The gal that had started my sandwich offered to make me a new one. The line was already out the door, so I was trying to be nice to those behind me, and told them she could just scrape it off, I'll live. The poor girl kept apologizing to me while scraping that nasty green crud, taking quite a bit of bread with it.

I apologized to her for scaring her, and told her that I didn't see it until it was too late due to the stickers on the glass. I told her if she just put extra mayo and mustard on it I should be good. The last gal to touch my sandwich told me that my food was on the house due to the mix-up. I thanked her and told her she didn't have to do that, it was an honest mistake. (Most people like guacamole, so the poor girl was just in a groove) She insisted that she buy my lunch, so I let her.

That was a pretty good sandwich. And no, whatever guac that was left on there didn't make it good.  ;o)

Small Town America

Small towns are a slightly different atmosphere when it comes to holidays. Case in point - I just celebrated my first 4th of July here in Sticksville. Now, being that Sticksville is quite small, major festivities like fireworks are actually closer to  45 minutes away. However, I doubt the cities of LA or NY would basically shut down for a 4th of July parade. They shut down for no one and nothing.

Here in the tiny ranching and farming towns of America, it's a different story. It's quite simply a very different way of life. And I for one, like it.

Last Saturday, I went to my Job 3 like usual. I was told about an hour later, that we were closing not only for our normal lunch hour, but that we would be closed for four hours. So the few of us that work on weekends could go to the town of Alturas for their Fandango Days and enjoy the 4th of July Parade and festivities afterwards. Apparently this a big draw for this part of the state! At 10:30 I drove through all the detours and finally found a parking spot. The Parade had already started, but since I drove to the end of the route, I hadn't missed anything yet. I walked down until I was in the crowd. My grandfather had thought I could make there on my lunch hour to snap a few pictures of the classic cars that would be at the park. But little did either one of us know that I would have four hours available so I was able to wander around like a lost puppy with a camera.

Many of the shops had closed for the festivities. Only one restaurant closed. But still, where else do you find that? Half the town at least shut down so everyone can enjoy the day. Awesome, I say. Awesome.

I took pics for me and for him. So basically I shot everything. Here are a few highlights from the Parade.

Old fire truck and new fire truck.

Sheriff's Posse

They got a big round of applause - and deservedly so!

You know you're in a small town when the cheerleaders stop the parade for two cheers. And get introduced one by one. lol

1930s CHP car and a 2011 Crown Vic CHP car.

I spent about 3 of my 4 hours chilling sweating like a dog, taking pictures. Managed to get a tiny little sunburn in the shape of a 'V' from my smock, and on my right forearm. Everyone headed over to the park where the old cars in the Parade were set up for show. There were also food booths, pony rides (I, unfortunately, was too tall), and vendors of all kinds. I bought a t-shirt, it's really cute. I also got a nice big Tri-Tip sandwich from the Fire Department.

For the actual 4th of July, I woke up early and went to feed and irrigate as usual. Apparently ranch work doesn't stop just because it's a national holiday. Weird, right?  ;)

After our morning of sweaty and dirty work, K decided we should do something fun. They threw around some ideas about going to lakes that I hadn't been to. Actually, places I hadn't heard of. So, we decided to take a day and drive to a place called Blue Lake. (and before you ask, yes, it is blue) K fixed us sandwiches for the road and off we went. Well, first off we did shower and get cleaned up.

On the way there, the scenery is much the same - sage brush and desert all around. We dropped into a valley and it was so lush. It was green as far as the eye could see. Or rather, the length of the tiny valley. We decided to see some falls first before going on to the lake. K and I hiked to the falls. It was probably a 1/4 mile, but it felt like more. Because it was pretty much all uphill and I was in flip flops. But the falls were beautiful!

Mill Creek Falls

We had our little picnic lunch at the day use area at Blue Lake. The lake was still well hidden behind trees, but we could still look down on it while we ate. It's a small lake, actually. There's a footpath around it and no real "beach" area. There is a boat launch, though.

After Blue Lake, we took the dirt roads to yet another valley. Thank God none of us had to pee because it would have been sheer torture. Luckily, once down into the valley there were actual paved roads! We eventually made it home for the super dinner K cooked up - a mean pork tenderloin, corn on the cob, baked potato, and salad. And of course, dessert. K's mom made a rhubarb crisp and we also had brownies and ice cream available. YUM.

Random lush valleys in the high desert!

A valley called Surprise Valley? Guess those settlers weren't expecting it!