For One Moment, I Knew How An Extreme Couponer Felt

And let me tell you, it was freaking awesome!

Way back in December (for some reason it feels like eons ago), I was out Christmas shopping with Mom. Every Christmas we pick a day and it's just the two of us, hanging out, catching up, and shopping. Just a nice "girls day".

It was kind of towards the end of our shopping day and I was looking for a couple more things. One of them being for Boyfriend. So Mom and I popped into Kohl's  to see if they had any t-shirts. I knew it would be impossible to find the shirts I was looking for, it being December and all (and supposedly winter, however Mother Nature has completely screwed us over this year).

Instead of t-shirts, I found a really nice zip-up hoodie with fleece lining. Since his new job at a small town water district is awful cold, I figured it would help keep him warm. I looked at the price tag and gasped. $80!! I looked up and sighed with relief when I saw that it was on sale for 50% off. Niiiiiice.

Mom had a couple Kohl's coupons in her wallet that she'd let me use and said she'd put in on her Kohl's card and I could just pay her back when the bill came in. We were all set.

As the cashier was ringing up the sweater and discussing coupons with my Mom, I suddenly remembered that I had a gift card to Kohl's from the previous Christmas. The cashier looked at me like I was insane. I pulled it out of my wallet and said, "There's probably only $5 left on it or something, but whatever."

The gal scanned it while I wasn't paying attention (because I was putting my wallet back in my purse) and suddenly Mom was elbowing me saying, "They owe you money! Holy shit!"

I looked up all confused and the cashier said, "There's twenty-four and change on here. Did you just want to go ahead and use it all up?"

I stared - dumbfounded - at the register screen. The ($80) sweater (after all the coupons) came to $22 and some change. The gift card still had $24 and change on it. The store only owed me $2, but still.

But STILL. The store owed ME.

That never happens.

So I went across the street to Best Buy and bought Boyfriend "The Hobbit" since I didn't have to spend any of my own money on the really nice sweater from Kohl's.

And for one brief moment in time, I finally knew how one of those extreme couponers felt when the grocery store owed them money at the end of it all.

My new weekend gig

I survived my first weekend of my new part-time weekend job as a "pet nutritional consultant". I have to take several Advil, but I survived.

I can also honestly say that, for the most part, being a PNC is actually quite boring. Let me tell you why. It's a lot (and I mean  a lot) of wandering around the store.

On Saturday, I showed up at 10am for my first 4 hour shift at a local pet store. I met the store manager and he showed me where the vendor log book was so I could sign in and out and where the pet food I was representing was.

I was already armed with the exact amount of coupons I was allowed to give out, brochures, business cards - all cleverly attached to the tablet so I wouldn't lose a thing. Now, the deal with my "demos" are that they are "roaming demos". Meaning, I meander through the entire store and talk with folks and perhaps switch them to the brand of food I'm representing.

There was a lot of foot traffic on Saturday because a local rescue group was doing adoptions. However, I'm guessing the rescue group feeds Blue Buffalo, because every time a dog got adopted, one of the volunteers would walk the new dog owners right over the Blue Buffalo aisle and place a bag in their hands or their cart. Hmm. 

I greeted folks and if anyone looked like they were overwhelmed or it was obvious they were "looking", I politely asked if they had any questions regarding pet food. Most people were receptive and glad I asked if they had questions, because then they wouldn't stop asking questions.

One gal saw me and said, "Do you work here?" Saw the food brand on my shirt and went on with, "No you don't." And put her hand up in my face and walked away. Biatch. I didn't wanna talk to her either. After watching her (aka spying), she had an empty bag of cat food and was trying to find it in the store and then because the store didn't carry it, was comparing labels with other brands of cat food. Sigh.

Mostly I wandered. I meandered. I moseyed. I felt like I walked 10 miles. Very slowly.

I did more walking than I did talking. I did manage to give out all but one coupon and sold a couple of bags of dog food.

On Sunday, I awoke to being very, very sore from the hips down.

But I soldiered on. Sunday was much slower for business, so I was even more bored as I meandered about the store. Most of the associates ignored me, even though I'd smile at them. I think they're just pissed they have to work for minimum wage. (However the dog trainer and a couple of associates on Saturday were very nice).

I spoke to a few people. One young (and rude) couple asked if I had a puppy food. I showed it to them and they said, "Yeahthatsgreatthanks." And was gone. I could have handed them a bag of Ol Roy and they would have said the same exact thing. Sheesh.

One elderly couple asked me where the clipper oil was and I showed them. (I've learned where a few things are) and then they asked about shampoos and then about food. The entire time they thought I was a store employee (happens a lot, even though my shirt is black and employee shirts are blue). I visited with them for probably 20 minutes or so and when they found out I wasn't a store employee they were so shocked. But they thanked me several times for my help.

One gal I spoke to had a dog food bowl for a huge dog, and it turns out she recently adopted an English Mastiff that had been in a bad home. She has two other female Mastiffs and a Lab. A half hour later I knew her entire story. But that was okay. She may never buy the food I'm representing, but in my humble opinion, it's just as important to have a rapport with the customers as well.

Most times these people are repeat shoppers. I don't want them to know me as the pushy food rep. I want them to know that I truly do care that they gave a dog a great new forever home. That they want to find a shampoo that won't make their dog itch. Which cat litter I would recommend for their brand new kitten, Quentin Tabbytino. I want them to know that I am more than just a food rep. That I know other things as well.

How To Be A Douche In Stores

It's amazingly easy to not be a douche in a store: Common politeness and courtesy.

Unfortunately, some people lack one or both.

More often, it's both. Sad.

I recently went to the wonderful land of Target. I love Target. I could browse for days in Target and be happy. If I had it all to myself, I could die happy.

Going down the main aisle, on my way to the make-up section because I desperately needed some new mascara. Because when you pull the stick/brush out and it's one large clump, it's time to let the tube rest in peace.

However, I had to take a detour.

Why?

Because evidently several people shopping ran into other shoppers they knew and promptly took up the entire main aisle. Not kidding. The entire aisle. Shopping carts. People. Just taking up important space. They were laughing, talking, and having a grand ol' time.

Shoppers of all kinds were trying to get around them. Trying to sneak through.

And these people were completely oblivious.

Even with other shoppers saying, "Excuse me" all polite-like.

Anybody with a cart had to divert down a side aisle. Like I did, because I had cat litter to buy so I needed a cart.

I hope these people are proud of their douchiness. Hope they enjoyed catching up with friends. And I hope they enjoyed their shopping experience at Target.

So, next time you want to aspire to be like them, just create a Flash Mob or have a family reunion at your favorite store and make sure everyone is in other customer's way.

 

Track Your Package = FacePalm

I have discovered that the whole "track your package" thing is not only cool, but can be quite aggravating. Has anyone actually been waiting on their online order and tracked your package every day? Because sometimes it really makes NO SENSE whatsoever.

Just sayin'.

Awhile back, I went ordered a couple books on Barnes & Noble online. My order got to me in about three days. Awesomeness.

Eventually I wanted a couple more books, so I went back to Barnes & Noble online to order the next couple of books in the series. For whatever reason, the website never processed my order. Two freaking days later, I was still trying to place the freaking order. No joke. I even emailed their help center. That was a joke.

So, I did what anyone would do. I want to Amazon and made my purchase there. Unfortunately I didn't get my Barnes & Noble discount, nor the free shipping, but it was only a couple of books, no biggie. Fortunately for my temper, the website processed the order the first time round and then it told me that it would be 7-10 days shipping.

Oh. My. God. My heart dropped.

I kept telling myself, "don't worry J.Day, it'll get here sooner than that."

So, I tracked the package. Wow. I did a lot of face-palms for a week. Here's why.

As you can clearly see, it starts out in Kent, WA and makes it way to Sacramento, CA. Sacramento is about 5-6 hours south of me. I figured it would make it's way to either Redding or Reno and then up here to Sticksville. Wow, I couldn't have been more wrong. The damn package goes back to Kent, WA from Sacramento. Now, I can't quite figure why the hell it would go back to its original location. Kent is near Seattle, which is not far from the Canadian border, so we're looking at about an 11 hour drive from Sacramento to Seattle. So . . . I repeat, why would the package go 11 hours in the wrong direction?!

Then it eventually makes it to Portland, OR, then to Klamath Falls, OR, then to me. I mean, seriously? Talk about a wasted trip. Not to mention it had to bypass me just to get to Sacramento in the first place. I'm curious why it couldn't have just gone from Kent to Portland to Klamath to me in the first place. Wouldn't that have been, oh I don't know, more efficient?

Now, I recently went back to Barnes & Noble online for a couple more books in the series. Luckily for me the order was actually placed, I got free shipping plus my member discount, saving about $10 total. Not bad. I got an email last night saying it had shipped. I checked it this morning and it started in Sparks, NV (or Reno if that's more familiar to you) went to West Sacramento, up to Anderson and it tells me I should expect delivery tomorrow. Hot damn. No face-palms there. How simple. (Turns out it arrived a day before the "expected delivery". Talk about ecstatic!)

This whole "track your package" option is great. Until you watch your package travel a days journey in the wrong direction, and to make matters worse, it had just come from there. It's like watching a tennis match - the package just keeps going back and forth. And eventually, it will show up. Yikes.

Attention Target Shoppers

I can only hope that I have a body like this at this woman's age. But I will not go out like this.

 

All decked out for Target. Maybe she had a hot date afterward?