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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

All Must Bow To The Overlord

Before I get to the Award portion of this blog, I would just like to wish  my Granddad a Happy Birthday. Today would have been his 86th birthday. My parents are taking Granny to a nice steak house in Redding (where Granny and Granddad always liked to go for birthdays or anniversaries), to celebrate Granddad's birthday.



So, I kind of took awhile to pay homage to this award that I received from the Frisky Virgin. I loved her post regarding this award, as she definitely put her own twist on it and definitely brought a smile to my face. Anyway, life got a bit crazy for a few weeks, and I had a moment where I vaguely remembered an award . . . so here I am.

As with most blog awards, there are a few rules to follow. They are as follows:

1. Thank the blogger who bestowed you the award.
2. Three changes must be made to our lives.
3. Bestow this award on 10 bloggers worthy of world domination.

So, first off, I wish to thank the wonderfully kind Frisky Virgin for bestowing this award on me. I adore the fact that she, too, is a huge Harry Potter fan and therefore, I shall overlook the fact that she likes vampires (example - True Blood, or possibly Twilight *shudders*). I shall also overlook the fact that she is a Dallas Cowboys fan, as she has grown up in Texas and does not know any other way than the wrong way. *wink* If you haven't checked out her blog, it's a must do on your list.

Second off Ahem . . . Secondly, I get to make three changes to our lives. You poor innocent suckers. However, I am Overlord, so put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Change No. 1:

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I'm serious here, folks. So many from the younger generations simply have no respect for anyone - not their peers nor their elders. I know that every generation goes through their teen years where the kids apparently know everything (hey I was a culprit, too), and the parents know squat. However, there's a fine line between that and the crap kids pull nowadays. From here on out, if you scream at your parent/guardian in public, refuse to take out those stupid little head phones from your iPod, throw a tantrum of any kind, refuse to do your chores yet still expect a raise in your allowance - anything that means anything to you will be taken away. Being sent to your room will not mean that you have the whole day to play your Wii or spend all day on Facebook or texting your friends. Any and all toys and electronics (especially the fun ones) shall be taken away so that you may learn from your lesson. If having refused to do chores, extra chores shall be added with no pay until you fully comprehend how disrespectful you have been. If you have thrown a tantrum in a store, and therefore embarrassing your parents/guardians, you must apologize to your parents (sincerely). Of course, this can only work if the child is old enough to speak, therefore understand they have done something wrong. If you tease your peers, you shall make a public apology to them.  If you think things will always be handed to you, that you don't have to do chores to earn an allowance, and can mouth off anytime you want, you have lessons to learn. If you want respect, you must first give it. It is not a right, it is a privilege.

Change No. 2:

To all those in the public eye;

Politics. Oh yes, I'm going there. If you have ever been convicted of a crime, you can no longer run for political office. If, while serving any term, you are convicted of a crime, you must immediately step down and admit to your stupidity - by wearing a Dunce Cap. If you take part in inappropriate behavior (such as texting pictures of your naughty bits, having secret affairs, etc.), you will immediately step down from office. If any of these politicians are lucky, they will be the next generation of fast food servers. Also, for legislature or congress that cannot pass a budget on time, will cease being paid. For ever day there is no budget, you do not get a single dime. That's why there are deadlines. DUH. Also, you will not be allowed to slash monies from the budget that are for health care, schools, or public safety officials (police, firemen, etc.). In fact, if you're past the deadline, what you would be paid will now go towards one of those three. I also declare that all politicians take a massive pay cut - you are a public servant, voted in - so why are you being paid so much?! If you can afford a house, a vacation home in the Hamptons, can afford European vacations, and a limo, you are being over-paid. From here on out, you will take yourself to work - limos will not be allowed (okay, the President gets one). If the working man/woman must struggle to pay their bills so that you can have your mansion and vacation homes and $200k sports cars, then you must struggle, too. As of now, all politicians who have a vehicle that cost in excess of $50k, must sell it and give all proceeds to the budget. All second homes, same thing, we'll put that money towards the national debt. Cough it up.

I hereby declare that in addition to the politicians getting their pays slashed, that all corporate CEO's are to adhere to said rules, as well. Each of your 5 homes can house families that were affected by natural disaster tragedies.

And you know what, this also goes for famosity. This is yet another privilege, not a right. If you abuse your famosity, you will no longer be deemed famous and be sent to work washing cars or flipping burgers. There will be no MTV or VH1 show looking for you 20 years later, either. If you have a "wardrobe malfunction", your famosity will be on probation. Your stalkers (this includes the paparazzi) will help the authorities keep tabs on you during your probation period (unless they actually pose a physical threat; and as for the paparazzi, they will  be used only to keep tabs on problem stars, they will no longer be allowed to chase down stars and cause accidents). Famosity shall not be granted if you take part in some stupid reality TV show like the Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of Whatever, Jackass, Ice Loves Coco, 16 and Pregnant, and any show dealing with tattoo parlors or nail and hair salons. In fact, all reality TV must be approved by me and other Overlords (my hand picked panel).

Change No. 3:

Everyone will learn that farmers and ranchers feed the world. They will no longer be encroached upon or complained about. If those ranches or farms were there before you moved in, you have no right to complain about smell or animal or tractor noise. You will no longer whine about the amount of water agriculture uses. That water is making crops grow that feed you, or that feed the animals that eventually feed you. You will no longer whine about how much land they take up, because it takes land to feed the world. These people bust their chops and get no thanks from anyone. So therefore, I declare a new National Holiday - Rancher & Farmer Appreciation Day. No, you know what? They get a week. Also, all schools - especially city schools where agriculture is not in their backyard - will be educated about where their food comes from, including field trips.

And now, to pass this award onto 10 bloggers that I deem worthy:

Canadian Blogger Girl

It's An Average Life

The Adventures of Cinderita

On My Soapbox

Happy Dying Sun

Drake's Doomsday Corner

Dribble

Simple Dude in a Complex World

Are You Serious

The Life and Times of A. Nighbert




8 comments:

  1. Congrats darlin and thank you for thinking of me! You rock girlfriend!

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  2. Fantastic new rules...especially the respect one. I know the 3rd is very close to your heart and I have to say that I agree with it whole heartedly. I watch the fields farmers use getting sold to developers up the mountains all the time and it saddens me because I much prefer a beautifully planted field than ridiculously huge new houses where there should be rustic farm houses. HERE HERE For Overlordess J.Day!!

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  3. Congrats to the 'new overlords' :-)

    Ditto what Jewels said. It sickens me to see farmers fields replaced by big expensive houses...especially when there are so many houses out there already for sale!

    *wanders off to inhale that fresh country air...*

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  4. Timmy - Thanks! :o)

    Tracy - Thanks and you're very welcome! :o)

    Jewels - Yes it is very close to my heart!

    chocolateangel - Thank you! And that country air is wonderful isn't it?

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  5. Defying parents is one thing, defying random strangers on the street is another. Whatever happened to the days when kids were terrified of speaking to any adult? We need to bring that fear back!

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  6. AMEN!!! We had a HORRIBLE incident occur here on June 19th and your cattle drive pictures reminded me of it. Every year a rancher up by Grass Valley herds about 300 head of cattle 3 miles or so to summer pasture. Some DERANGED 19 yr. old in a Jeep Cherokee DELIBERATELY drove into the herd and hit 5 cows and a calf and then backed up and ran over a Border Collie on the shoulder of the road. He also threatened to run over the mounted ranch hands. The Border Collie made it after $10,000.00 in vet bills. That was the only positive part-The community really rallied around the rancher and donated enough to pay the entire bill! This story kind of illustrates both #1 and #3. Lack of respect on the part of youth and the importance of ranchers. See J-Some of us do appreciate you! I raised $500.00 for Maggie (the Border Collie)!

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