Cement vs Semen

Some days a simple and hilarious conversation at work can just make your day. And could quite possibly be labeled "best moment ever".

Last week, as I was starting my new schedule over the main clinic in Town and was therefore there on a day I normally wouldn't be there, this sort of thing happened. Hell, it still makes me giggle.

I think it happened before lunch . . . a gal came into the vet's office, needing some cement for eye patches for cattle. It's not actual cement, like cement shoes or anything, but its an adhesive for eye patches for cattle that have a problem like pinkeye. Here's how the conversation played out:

Gal: I need some cement for eye patches for cattle.

What I heard was "I need some semen . . . " but I didn't say so; mostly because by the time she finished her sentence I knew what she really said. And I didn't want her to think my mind was in the gutter.

E and I were kind of like, "hmmm" because no one has ever come in for just the cement part. So we started looking around, not finding anything. Dr. J comes over and asks what we're looking for . . .

Me: She's looking for some cemen---

Dr. J: You totally just said semen! (and laughed)

Me: (getting slightly indignant) No, I said cemENT.

Dr. J: You totally said semen!! (laughs even more)

E: Yeah, you totally said semen. (laughs)

Gal: (laughing)

Dr. J finally runs off to find some cement. As he walks away:

Gal: I just need a tube of the sticky stuff.

There was maybe a three second pause where the three of us thought "um, not sure that was any better!!" before we all three started laughing so freaking hard we were crying. The gal was quite embarrassed by her latest statement, and once she could catch her breath, admitted, "That really didn't sound any better, did it?"

Dr. J came back to the three of us laughing ourselves silly, and wanted to know what was going on, and the gal told us not to tell. He had found the cement, or tube of sticky stuff as it were, and was handing her a tube. She paid for it, and left. E and I thanked her for making our day as she was heading out the door.

E and I kept laughing over it during the remainder of the day, and we finally told Dr. J what had been said. He got a kick out of it, too.

And so, in an office where we are supposed to veterinary professionals, we were quickly and easily reduced to teenagers by the very thought that someone said "semen" when they said "cemENT" and the phrase "tube of sticky stuff" . . .