Has anyone noticed a pig flying around?

Yesterday, Dr. A and I went to lunch at a cafe in town. It's been around for awhile, but neither of us had tried it. We decided to try it today. I doubt I'll be running back for more anytime soon.

We walked in and got in line - there were probably 4 people ahead of us. We found a menu and perused it while we waited. And waited. And waited some more. The guy behind the register looked like he didn't really care about much of anything to be honest. He had a completely blank expression; in fact his face never once changed the entire time we were in the establishment. The other guy in the "kitchen" looked about as excited as Guy #1. Eventually, Guy #2 gets off his lazy keister, and starts taking orders.  Of course, then there's no one to start fixing the food that people have ordered. Seems like a great system.

Dr. A finally reaches the front and orders. I'm after her and order the "turkey BLT, minus the TOM". Because I don't like tomatoes. They're slimy and disgusting.

I think Guy #1 took me literally. Very literally.

Twenty minutes or so later, Dr. A and I finally get our sandwiches. I look at my sandwich and notice the TOM  (as in tomato) on the sandwich so I start peeling them off. Dr. A looks at her sandwich and says, "I think I got yours." I hand over my plate with her sandwich (after putting the tomatoes back on and apologizing for fingering her sandwich). She handed me the plate with my sandwich and her side salad . . . keeping the side salad. Yeah. I know. The dude totally messed up.

So I look at my sandwich, and there's still tomatoes on it. When I lift up the bread to peel off the tomatoes, I notice there's not a slice of turkey on the sandwich. It's a regular ol' BLT. Dr. A starts laughing at me, and I bite into it because I'm too hungry to wait for the blank-faced idiot to waste 20 minutes more attempting to fix the error.

The reason I say that Guy #1 took me literally when I said "no tom" is that a male turkey is called a "tom". Although, in most restaurants, tomato is often abbreviated as "tom".  So, I guess, if you want to get highly technical (which I don't), I guess he got the order right and didn't serve me a "tom".

I'm quite positive that there has to be a pig flying around on this earth somewhere, because I swear that would be the thing to get me to eat a tomato.

I did text my mom with "would you believe I'm eating a tomato?" She replied with "no fucking way!!!!!" (with about a dozen more exclamation points behind it). Then she came back with, "and it didn't kill you?!?!"

Yes, yes. I know. It didn't kill me. I hate tomatoes, but I was starving and lucky for me, the tomatoes were sliced very thin. But they are still slimy and disgusting.

And keep an eye out for that damn pig. It's gotta be around somewhere.