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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Words CAN hurt


Monday was just a crap day. Partly because it was just Monday. And partly because of what happened with a co-worker.

The day started off with finding out that one of our technicians accidentally fell off her back deck over the weekend and hurt her foot to the point where she could barely walk. She made herself cry from pain by driving her stick shift to work to have the doctors take a look at it. She even got a free digital x-ray to find out if it was broken. Didn't appear to be.

So we were left with one technician, and two receptionists (one of them being me). I played part receptionist and part tech throughout the day.

At some point in the morning I was refilling a bunch of prescriptions and the tech started telling me about how there's a really hot doctor (MD not DVM) in another town that "totally has the hots" for her. I really didn't want to hear about it, especially since she's married. Now I know that you can be all appreciative that someone's interested and hell, married people think other people are "hot" as well, but do you really need to gush about it all freaking day at work? No. You don't. So, keeping the tone light (instead of irritable, which is what I was), I jokingly said, "I wish I had some hot doctor traipsing after me." Did she say something supportive like, "One day, hon, one day. You will." Nope. Not even close. She came over to me and said, "Well, you need to wax this and this," showing on her face where I apparently needed some work done. Then she went back to her work saying, "I tell you this because I'm your friend."

Bullshit. My bestest friend in world has never even said that to me, and she would have see the hurt in my eyes the minute something like that would get past her lips.

I'm not supermodel pretty. Yes, I, like so many other women, have some unwanted hair in the facial area that could be gone and I'd never miss it. However, it costs money and is often painful. But my closest friends have never ever told me that in order for me to get a guy I need to do some waxing.

Part of me wanted to take her down. Part of me wanted to tell her off. But I listened to the sensible part of me that said, just smile and nod and politely refuse and go about your day; pay her no mind. So, I simply told her that waxing was not something I was really into. Quite possibly more information that anyone needed, but I really don't see the appeal of ripping hair out. I finished up my work and went back to the front desk to sit down and charge all the prescriptions out so they were ready for pick-up.

I kept telling myself that what she said didn't hurt; didn't matter. And because I have a mini-side burns and a barely-there mustache (like if you were standing as close to me as the tech was, which was kinda uncomfortable close), doesn't mean guys won't like me. None of the guys I'd been out with before ever said anything. I kept telling myself it just didn't matter. However, I didn't go out of my way to joke with her like usual.

Later in the afternoon, I was up front alone for a moment when the tech came up to find a chart. She turned around saw an old rancher that she knew and she said, "Oh hi, Rancher! I totally didn't even see you there." Even though he told her that it was okay, she continued with "I didn't want you to think I was bring rude." Because we joke a lot at the office, I did a whole sarcastic "pfffffft" and instead of her jokingly batting me on the shoulder, she freaking pinched me. Hard. It effing hurt. A lot. And it left a bruise. I hollered, "ow!" and gave her a light slap on the shoulder.

She then went for the jugular. She continued pinching my arm so freaking hard, she broke skin in 3 places, and left a bruise and part of my forearm tender. In front of the old Rancher man. I was so embarrassed that it turned out that way and my arm freaking hurt like hell. Instead of going off on her in a public forum, I jokingly said, "would you like a curly-cue mustache?" And she replied with, "you mean like yours?"

Ouch.

I was cut to the quick. I simply turned around and went back to my work. I ignored her for the remaining two hours of work. And I didn't offer to stay to help like usual. I said good-bye to Dr. J and went home.

It was later, when I was in bed, waiting for sleep to come that I accepted how much the tech hurt my feelings. And I cried. I had kept telling myself that I shouldn't be upset because she was being spiteful for whatever reason. An off day. Something to do with her sinus infection. I thought hard to remember if I had recently said anything hurtful to her and done anything to to her. I came up blank. While she's not my favorite person in the world, we get along generally and have gone to lunch a few times.

But I realized, that didn't matter. What she had said was hurtful, and she freaking knew it. You don't treat your "friends" like that. 

And I know that come Friday, when we next work together, that I should take the high road and act like it never happened, I'm not sure I can or will. I'm only human after all and she did hurt my feelings - and that last comment was intentional. I will probably avoid her if possible, go to a different tech with questions I may have, and offer them help.

I know that she could have said much worse to me, but that doesn't make the cut already less deep. Besides, the bruises on my arm keep reminding me.


19 comments:

  1. I'd have told her where SHE could put wax. Better yet, demonstrated. Is your arm bruised? I'd show it to her- serious this time- and say- "You don't want to look like this? Don't touch me again." That way she knows the what and the why and if she comes back with anything, you can just silently walk away knowing the message got across.

    Oh, and you could tell her, "I know this hot guy who'd be perfect for you- his name's "John Rambo... Here's his website..." "

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    1. LMAO Oh that last bit . . . . hahahahaha! YES!

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  2. One of the things I have noticed about women and men who totally gush over affections of those they are not married to are not happy in their marriage. Don't get me wrong, I love to flirt at work, love when men notice me... but I don't go on about it. I simply don't need their affections to boost me up... I have a husband that does that for me. Maybe you should tell her you're so sorry that her marriage isn't working out so well the next time she goes on about this other man.

    But...Here's the thing... she's out of line. Period. My best friend (over 25 years) is also my hair dresser... and waxer... and she doesn't even tell me when the girl-stash needs some tending.

    She just throws me in the chair and does it when I'm not paying attention. :)

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    1. That's a good point. I've noticed that too, but probably never really thought about it. Well, I have seen the look on her husband's face when I've been around the two of them. Poor guy. I'm not sure he can ever get a word in because she's a real talker. LOL

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  3. What a cow! How you didn't give her a slap is beyond me, must have taken the willpower of a saint not to.

    I'm married as you know, have been for 12 years now. I'm very happy and absolutely not interested in anyone else. I wouldn't even notice if a guy had the hots for me, because I'm just not looking for that kind of attention. This tells me that this "person" is either unhappy in her marriage or just incredibly insecure in her own skin. Either way, she's probably lonely and miserable and is taking it out on you to try to shore up her own low self esteem.

    Don't let her get you down, she really isn't worth it.


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    1. I was good by the next day. It was just a crazy insane day and what she said really pissed me off. I just won't be all nicey-nice to her anymore.

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  4. She was being a total bitch to you, plain and simple. I'd threaten to report her for hurting you or put in a complaint or something. You have that rancher as a witness and your bruises to prove it. There's no love lost between you guys so it wouldn't be a great loss if she never spoke to you again

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    1. Yes, she was. I saw her true colors and I won't be overly nice to her anymore. Lunch will be out of the question.

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  5. Sometimes women can be real bitches, friends or not. I don't think that's a nice thing to say to their "friend" you should totally tell her how you feel though. Def don't let her get you down though.

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    1. Yes, we can. I hate that. However, I'm over her comments now; and I won't be her "friend".

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  6. Perhaps you could sit down with Dr. J, and tell him what happened...and that you did NOT like what she did. Not necessarily to get her fired, but maybe a stern talking to by the boss. She was most certainly out of line. And most employers usually will not tolerate that kind of behaviour.

    On another note: we had a Siberian Husky come into the animal hospital this afternoon. I swear this dog was the size of a Shetland Pony; he was HUGE!! I've never seen a Husky that big!

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    1. Wait until you get a mastiff! Lol

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    2. I think we had a mastiff puppy, around 9 months old, boarding the first weekend I was there. He was a big ol' pussycat, and well-trained (thankfully!); I'd hate to have a dog that size try and jump up on me. I wonder how much bigger he's gonna get...

      So far, I've had to deal with only one dog who's a jumper. An overly enthusiastic Lab mix. She'd try and jump up and kiss you whenever taken out to the "potty yard", lol!

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  7. Holy hell, what a bitch. Not you, obviously. LOL

    At least a girlie moustache can be waxed/tweezed/bleached... Bitchdom is just there and you can't ever cover it up.

    Do you want some shaving cream to squirt on her car? I'd be willing to donate to the fund.

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    1. Lol shaving cream? I was think eggs. Deviled eggs even. Lol although I would really hate to waste a good deviled egg....lol

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    2. Silly string and saran wrap, perhaps? ;-) *evil grin*

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  8. She is a bitch and a bully and she has no right to hurt you like that. That is assault, plain and simple. To physically touch you and leave bruises is wrong. Ths woman is not your friend and you should not make excuses for her.
    And it is her insecurities making her be mean to you and gloating about the attenton shown her by a man not her husband. You are a beautiful person. Dont let this witch bring you down

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