Step 1. Be scheduled to work your part-time job on weekends.
Step 2. Work Saturday.
Step 3. Decide on Saturday night that you wish to not work on Sunday because you and Boyfriend need to go cut a Christmas tree and also to see where Boyfriend now works. And also to learn a bit how things operate. Not to mention you've been working seven days a week for four months and you need a break. (also not to mention, I rarely do something like this.)
Step 4. Call the store on Sunday morning and tell them a simple story of, "I tripped in a gopher hole on the way to the chicken coop that was still covered by two inches of snow." (totally feasible).
Step 5. Email your manager to let her know the same story, saying, "All will be well by next weekend." Keeping the story the same just in case the store is audited by the company I work for and trace it to my district managers.
Step 6. Enjoy the day off with Boyfriend, spending a few hours watching him work and learning in the process. Cut down a Christmas tree that is only 13 feet tall, even though you've told him several times that you really only need a 5' tree. Enjoy the setting up of the tree - discovering that it's too big for the tree stand and instead have to use an orange 5 gallon bucket.
Step 7. Go to bed, tired and happy after a nice "play hooky" kind of day spending it with Boyfriend.
Step 8. Receive email Monday from an HR person at weekend job saying that she's sorry to hear about my "twisted ankle" and that I've been put on medical leave until a doctor releases me back to work since my job requires standing and walking for four hours at a time. Email back and forth with gal, trying to reason with her that a doctor visit will cost me $100, which I don't have. Nope, doesn't work.
Step 9. Scrimp and save and try to find time for doctor appointment. Call around to walk-in clinics only to be told the same thing - the price is over $100 just to have a doctor sign a piece of paper. Between the holidays, my (so-called) full-time job and trying to get a spare $100, it takes 3 weeks to find the time.
Step 10. Face the music, visit doctor, pay $107 for a physician's assistant to sign a piece of paper. At least she thought it as ridiculous as I did after I explained them forcing me to go to a doctor when I hadn't been hurt on the job. Go back to work the next weekend.
And that, folks, is how you create an award-winning cluster-fuck.