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We have all seen "those" ads. We've all heard "those" ads. Several times. They can be quite disturbing if you're paying attention to the TV or radio. Disturbing more in the fact that society simply doesn't seem to care that "those" ads are everywhere. Society simply accepts them. Is it the openness that society accepts? Or is it simply a matter of society no longer cares?

The ads I refer to are the kind that refer to the enlargement of certain male body parts. Or the ads that refer to clinics that offer liposuction and "laser contouring".

I don't remember how it started, or when really. Possibly with Bob from Enzyte. And then it just went crazy. Maybe it started with Viagra. Who knows?

The ads I'm forced to hear on the radio every night at work state "the results are ah-mazing", "nothing short of a miracle" and that "you're name will not appear on any list" and "our name won't show up on the package". Just call in and you'll get a free sample of some sort of "miracle pill" to make Mr. Dingleberry be 2cm larger.

Besides, anyone else feel a smidge uncomfortable hearing said commercials while standing next to a male co-worker? Or seeing it on the TV? Let's just pretend that commercial didn't just make it to our eardrums.




And men, if you think I'm picking on you, I will say that I don't get breast implants either.

Another ad I'm bombarded with on the radio at work is for a local clinic that offers liposuction and "laser contouring" for your trouble areas. Now, being a woman, I am my own worst critic. And I have several trouble areas. However, I'm not about to run off to a miracle clinic to pay them thousands of dollars to contour me with lasers and suck the (much) unwanted fat out of my body. Their ad says, "If you wake up every morning and aren't happy with what you see" (or some version of that) "then call ".

Hold your horses.

Isn't society trying to tell young girls to love themselves? For who they are? To not conform to the skinny model look?

Then W.T.F., mate? Women are bombarded with images of "perfect" models. While everyone knows they're airbrushed and photo-shopped to perfection, we are shown that they are the "model" for how we should be. Then, we are bombarded with people telling us to love ourselves for who we are and what we look like - even if love-handles are involved. Then we are bombarded with ads from clinics and the like that says if you hate yourself enough we can make you look prettier like those models on the billboards.

But if you start, where do you stop? Once you take care of the original problem areas, you find more. It's a never ending cycle.

How are we supposed to handle hearing all the contradictions out there? Love yourself, but come in here and we contour you with lasers and make you better. Don't starve yourself to look like a model, just come in here and we'll use the lasers to make you look like them.

It's enough to make one's head spin 'round.

In case anyone hasn't noticed, I'm sick of seeing/hearing commercials that tell me to call in to enlarge a body part I don't have, telling me to call a clinic to suck and contour the fat out of my body, and all the like. Including the TV commercials for the "special time" couples need magic pills for. Dude, talk to your doctor, don't just call the 1-800 number on the screen for free samples.

Just give me Happy Cow commercials and anything else that's funny and stop making me listen to enlargement and fat sucking/contouring commercials. I beg you.