Friday, November 12, 2010

Psycho Roomie, Part XV: The Finale.

At some point during the year I lived with Suzi, I got this idea into my head that perhaps I should look for an internship. Something that would be interesting to me. And I really didn't give a hoot where it was, so long as it was in the US, since I didn't have a passport at the time. Actually, I have a passport now, however, I have no money with which to travel. However, in case I suddenly have to be on the run - like if Suzi ever found out about this blog - I have my passport to run off to Mexico or Canada.

Anyway, I wanted my internship to deal with horses. Now, maybe I was looking in all the wrong places, but those seemed fairly few and far between. I applied to odd fellowship/internship programs in Kentucky, horse capital of the world, and never got accepted. I finally did find my salvation in a little business called EquiGen in Florida. They are in the business of embryo transfer.

I was itching to put some distance between myself and Suzi and 3000 miles seemed good enough to me. I emailed the owner regarding internship possibilities and snagged it. I felt so lucky. I thought this place was a huge facility with tons of people. Turns out, it's on quite a bit of acreage, but with one building and basically two employees - the two owners. And their volunteer interns. But, that was still perfectly fine with me. I was going to be spending the summer in Florida with horses. It couldn't get much better than that.

It became official around March that I was really going to run off to Florida for the whole summer, and Suzi (of course) mentioned all of this to her parents. She was probably all freaked out that I wouldn't pay my share of the rent while I was gone for 9 weeks. She kept telling me that it seemed like a great opportunity for me. I knew there was something behind all of it.

At some point that spring, her parents came for one of their many visits. I was getting some stuff of mine from the hall closet which was between my bathroom and the front bedroom. Her parents were sitting on the couch and brought up that Suzi mentioned I had snagged an internship. They asked for some particulars, like what I would be doing, where it was, etc. I answered their questions, just knowing there was something else they weren't saying.

And then, her dad picked up the "snake in the grass" and whipped it out. He started lecturing me about how I was still under obligations here at home while I was off gallivanting around the country.

I will repeat that: He started lecturing me.

Did they really think I'd skip out on the rent? I don't want that much bad Karma floating around me. Seriously. When I told my parents about it, they were upset as well. They couldn't believe he had the balls to start lecturing me - me, who had really done nothing to do deserve being lectured.

This is when the shit hit the fan. This is when it started to get ugly. And this is when I stopped playing so nice with Suzi. The last month I lived there. The month of May.

After talking things over with my parents regarding money while I would be gone, we decided that I should not have to pay for PG&E or cable. I wasn't going to be there to use the air conditioner, the washer/dryer, or any other appliances. I wasn't going to be watching TV there, either. I must mention that my family helped me get to Florida, money-wise (for which I am eternally grateful) and what little I did have went to pay the gal that I lived with for rent and gas, and groceries. I didn't spend money on anything other than that, really. I came back as broke as when I left. But it was fun and totally worth it.

Now all we had to do was tell Suzi. Actually, I had to tell Suzi. When I did tell her, I thought her head might explode. She started using her grown-up argument of "Nuh-uh!" and going on about how I'm under obligation to pay my half of the bills. My argument that I wouldn't be there to use either the TV or the power fell on deaf ears. Shocker.

She, of course, involved her parents. Which meant I had to involve mine since 3 against 1 is unfair in any circumstance. My mom even talked to a lawyer, who agreed with us on principle, but said that it was really more trouble that it was worth, and to just pay something. So began the negotiations. We finally got them to agree that cable was not a necessity and that I wouldn't have to pay for it while I was gone. PG&E was a different story. In the end my dad did some math and said that we wouldn't pay any more than $50 for the time I was gone. And that if the bill came out that our share would be more than that, we wouldn't pay extra as I wasn't the one who was living there at the time. Meaning I obviously would have had nothing to do with bill increasing.

Here's where it got down and dirty. During these negotiations, I had told my parents about Joey staying over all the time and that money-wise, I had never heard of an offer from him to help out during his stays. My dad mentioned something to Suzi's dad about it, and he argued that Joey wasn't there very often. When my dad called back to tell me that side of the story, and that they argued that I had had over-night guests myself on several occasions. I actually laughed. I then told my dad this: "Dad, they ought to know just how often he's here. They pick him up at the San Jose airport and drive him up here. They also pick him up when it's time for him to leave and take him back to the San Jose airport. Would you like to know the exact times he was here?" When my dad said yes, I told him that Joey was there for a week in November for his first visit, a week in February for Valentine's Day, a week in March for our spring break, a week in April for Easter, and the entire of month of May to support Suzi for her graduation. Then I asked if he'd like to know how many over-night guests I've had. Of course he said yes. I told him that my cousin had visited my first couple nights, and my best friend had stayed two, maybe three nights. So, all in all, my over-night guests in total maybe spent 4 or 5 nights in the year I lived with Suzi. As opposed to Joey's estimated 7 to 8 weeks of time he had spent in our apartment.

Just so you know, that shut their asses up for good.

And of course, during May I was slowly packing everything I owned so that when I left for Florida I was ready to move when I got back. My mom had brought down a huge box filled with boxes for me from her office. It sat in the living room because it was huge and awkward. I started filling my bedroom with filled boxes. Now, this was no small feat as I had very little space for this in my room. I had to move other bits of furniture in different directions so I could make space. That huge box of boxes annoyed Suzi to no end. I freaking loved it. However, the closer it got to her graduation the worse she got. She wanted it in my room so it wouldn't be an eye-sore when her family came for graduation. My argument? Just tell your family your roommate is packing and there are some boxes around. People understand those things. Oddly enough, that wasn't a good enough argument.

One day, while I was in my room packing, she came to the door - she never set foot inside - and basically yelled at me to move the damn box into my room. I stood there, in my tiny room and yelled right back, "Tell me where in my fucking room I'm going to put it Suzi? On my bed? Please, tell me, where I have space for that box?" Naturally, her come back was something akin to "I don't know". Eventually I got Joey to help me move it into the third bedroom, although it barely fit in the doorway.

By the time the semester was over, everything I owned was packed away. If it wasn't packed away for moving, it was in a suitcase for Florida. The only food of mine left in the kitchen were things that had to be kept refrigerated. All of my electronics I took to my parents house because I didn't trust the bitch with my stuff. My bed was torn down and standing against the wall. As was my computer desk. I had changed my address on my bills to go to my parents house while I was gone. The only thing in the living room that was still mine, was my popazon chair and my TV stand which her TV was now on, and my coffee table. My dining table was still in the dinette nook. I had found a studio apartment across town, we already had a deposit on it. The day after I got back from Florida, we would clean the apartment and move my stuff and we'd be done with Suzi forever.

When, after I returned from Florida, I did come back to clean, Suzi and I barely said a word to each other. Her mother came to help us clean as well, and we left the apartment spotless. The manager was quite impressed. We pretty got much the full deposit back.

And just like that, my "dark year" of living with that psychotic, dumb, naive bitch was over.


  1. Whoa. I am so grateful for living on my own. I've had roommates. Oh have I ever. None quite as troublesome as this particular situation, but thank you for sharing. it's like a horror movie at times. Glad you made it through!!

  2. I have never been happier-for you-to hear this story come to a conclusion. I have never heard of anything as crazy as expecting bills to be paid when you weren't living there! Rent, sure, but not bills. That woman should be in a white padded room and a straight jacket!!!

  3. Cinderita - Since then I've lived ALONE. lol Next roommate will be a husband.

    Jewels - I agree, she was crazy enough to have been committed. Trust me, I was OH SO happy to finally be rid of her, too! lol

  4. Wow! To get the parents involved to stand up for her...way to play the victim though. Props to her for that. However I would have just moved all my stuff out before leaving for Florida and paid her the amount of money owing (rent pg&e etc). Let her deal with what she contributed to the apt and only such items as those.


  5. Wow okay I'm so glad it worked out and you got away from her in the end. Was actually dreading to read if she had done things to your stuff whilst you were away!

    Hazel xxx

  6. CBG - that's the way it always was with her. The parents were involved in everything. My parents understood that I didn't want it three on one, but they thought it just as ridiculous as everyone does! lol

    Hazel - I thought she was going to use it for a bonfire or something. lol Luckily, nothing was touched as far as I could tell.

  7. I'm SOOOOOO glad you escaped unharmed from the "whack-job"! On the flip side, I'm sad that the highly entertaining blogs about her are now over. Who the hell initials food? That's just too "out there" to even comprehend! That's the strangest thing I've ever heard! And BLUE butter? What the hell? YUCK! You deserve SO much better than that!


I love comments. Please leave one. :o)