Sunday, November 28, 2010

It's Official - I'm Crazy!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I've been away from my personal computer since Thursday morning, thus I haven't blogged. I didn't really feel like doing so from my parents desktop. My Thanksgiving went well, my mom hosted dinner for 12 people. That's a lot of people in our house! Everyone took tons of leftovers home. One of my younger cousins who is attending college in Washington drove down to be with family for the holiday and unfortunately got "snowed in" on Saturday. A nice big storm dropped in on Friday night/Saturday morning and dropped a lot of snow on the pass she had to climb to get out of northern California and into Oregon. Luckily, the storm and the roads cleared for her to safely drive to Washington today.

I did check up on the blogs I follow, I didn't always have time to comment, but I was keeping up. And I was very saddened to see that I lost a follower. I'm having a tough time figuring out exactly who left, but I'm sorry to see them go. I hope I haven't offended them or bored them out of their minds, but I hope they might stop by sometimes and comment. That was definitely not the highlight of my Thanksgiving holiday.
My highlight was getting to hang out with my younger cousin, whom I don't get to see very often. We chat like crazy on Facebook quite often, but we were raised on either side of the US, so we rarely got to see each other. We decided to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (part 1) and thoroughly loved it. I was very happy about this considering the guy who directed it also did Movie 6, and in my humble opinion he fucking ruined it. The whole middle part of the movie was okay, I can handle what they decided to leave out and could understand their reasons why. However, the director screwed up the beginning and the ending enough that I can hardly stand to watch it without getting all pissy. Oddly enough, this same director also directed Movie 5, which I loved. But I digress. If you haven't seen The Deathly Hallows, I highly suggest that you do - you will enjoy it. The downside? I have to wait six more months for part 2 to come out! Oh well.

I also got to spend Saturday shopping in town with my mom and my cousin. We got to enjoy an extra day with her since chains were required on the roads out of town. In every direction except South. We had a fairly lazy afternoon wandering around stores and chatting. Afterward we took dinner to my dad and grandparents as my cousin had been staying with them and my dad had stayed to do stuff around their house while we women went shopping.
By far the biggest thing to happen during the holiday was my announcement. It's now official, although I have yet to talk to my boss and I probably won't until after the first of the year. I don't need her harassment about me leaving her in a lurch and shit for the next two and a half months. I will indeed be moving away from Sacramento come February. I'm waiting until then because I'm on a lease on my apartment until then. I will move to the Middle of Nowhere in the far reaches of Northeast California. To a region that Wal-Mart has probably never heard of. I will be assisting my grandparents with their cattle ranch and their monthly publication. Hopefully I will be able to find a part-time job somewhere so I can have some cash flow.

Believe me when I say, it was not an easy decision. I have agonized over this for over two months. I have shed a lot of tears, even some this past weekend. I'm sure there will be more. I'm scared shitless, but I do hope it's all for the best. I know several of you, my wonderful followers, have commented on previous posts in regards to this decision and you've been so very supportive. My friends, family, and a few of my co-workers have also been supportive of whatever decision I were to make. My family members at dinner were quite shocked about my decision as only 4 people at the table had any idea of what was going on, and that's not including myself. They were all surprised but gave me their support and love and good wishes that everything turn out well. I was highly embarrassed to have to address my entire immediate family, as I don't like being the center attention all that much. Except for my birthday, because well, I'm supposed to be. Most of them had absolutely no idea about anything. Since it was my decision to make, my parents didn't really tell anyone.
I have no idea if I'm making the right move. I have no idea how it will turn out. It scares me to think I will be leaving a job that pays well and offers me benefits and a 401k. I despise the idea of giving notice to my two volunteer gigs as I have grown to love everyone there and the animals involved. It breaks my heart actually. I hate the idea that I may have to draw unemployment in order to have some sort of monthly cash flow. And it's scary to become so dependent on my family for assistance with bills and food until I basically get on my feet.

But I'm not happy where I am. I've never wanted to be a city-dweller; I hate traffic, smog, and the tight-space-living. While I do enjoy some of the things a city offers, like some shopping or large movie theaters, it's not for me. I miss seeing the stars out at night. The city lights dim most of them, but when you're miles and miles away from the lights, the stars truly come out. I've never really wanted to work in a lab. I've enjoyed learning what I have. Believe me when I say, it's something I didn't think I would have been smart enough to do or learn. But it's just not what I ever really wanted to do. My hours make it hard on me. And not only me, my friends and family as well. They never know when to call because they worry they may wake me up. It doesn't help you with a social life. And it definitely seems to be a turn off in the dating world. Seriously, I miss the sun dammit.
I will no longer to have to share walls with people. Or live above or below them. After my move, I will be living a "modular home". Oh fine. Call it a mobile home. A trailer. Fine. But it has its own four walls. Not a single wall is shared with another house. Unfortunately it's stuck in the disco era.  All of my furniture will fit. I just have to get it up there. That ought to be fun. I will be no further from my immediate family than I am now. Instead of an easy freeway drive, they will instead have a mountain drive. Over several mountains. The one thing that pains me, and I've already discussed this with her, is that instead of being an hour and a half away from my best friend, I will instead be an 8 hour drive from her. I burst into tears when I fully realized just how much distance will be between us. She fully understood my concern/fear, but we do have a solid friendship that distance will have a really hard time in separating us. We are truly sisters at heart.
I'm excited at the next chapter of my life. It's scary. So very scary. I will be dropping everything here, and starting over completely. But I have the support of all of my family and friends, and co-workers. Even if I fail miserably, they will still be there for me with open arms and help dust me off. I hope that you, my faithful peeps, will continue to show me support. I have no idea where this blog will go, but rest assured you will get good funny stories about the dumb things I do while learning how to run a ranch. 

I just hope one of those does not involve falling face first into a nice steaming pile of cow shit.


  1. I think one of the things I like about living in the city is that you actually appreciate the quiet and stars when you do get to see it. I know a lot of 'rural dwellers' that don't even appreciate those things because they take them for granted.

    Look at this this way... you've reached a level of followers now that you can't figure out who bailed! Besides - it's their loss.


  2. You are making the decision that you feel is best for you. Of course it is scary...all change is...but I think it's a wonderful start to a new chapter in your life and the right move for you right now. You need to shake things up a little.

    Like I said before...maybe you'll meet some hunky vet!! :-)

  3. SD - HAHA - seriously. I have hard time figuring out who is NEW. Oh well! I'll get someone to take their place. lol And very true about taking stuff for granted. Had I always grown up in the country, I probably would, too. But having spent so much time in the city, I really do appreciate that huge sky full of stars when I get to see it.

  4. Jewels - Well the current vet is like 100 years old, so maybe the guy that would buy it out from him? LOL One can dream!

  5. You won't...fall face down into a steaming pile of cow shit that it.
    You're too smart. YOu will make this work.
    As for the lost follower, I'm sure you didn't. Blogger sometimes fucks with our minds like that. ANd honestly, who would take the time to "unfollow?" That's so time consuming...
    Good luck! I think your life is going to be fantastic! So much to look forward to.

  6. I can't imagine you made this decision without thinking about all the what-if's. I'm sure it will work out for you, even if you can't see what direction it'll take now. But even if it doesn't, so what? You'll have done something scary and lived through it, which will only make you stronger in the long run. And it really can't be worse than the Psycho roomie, surely!

    I know what you mean about living in a town, I work in the middle of the city and loathe it. I can't imagine living here. Thankfully, England being as small as it is (LOL!) I can work in the city but live close enough to the country to be able to breathe. I still get to see the stars, still see wildlife (badgers, foxes, a zillion different birds) and when I look out of my window everything is green. It's how I keep my sanity, and it counts for an awful lot. I spent Saturday riding my horse through snow swept fields, and yesterday dog walking around frozen ponds. It doesn't get better than that really.

    I loved Deathly Hallows too, but couldn't stand the last one for the same reasons as you. Weird how a director can make such a hash of one film and excel at the other.

  7. I'm very proud of you for making such a hard decision pet. I'm sure you will find your feet really soon. I hope you keep blogging as yours is one of my favourites!

    Hazel xxx

  8. Sandra - Thanks for the vote of confidence. I do have my klutz moments, so who knows. It might be horse shit instead! lol

    Amanda - The "what-ifs" drive you insane. I'm sure either myself or my parents have thought of just about every "what if" scenario we could possibly come up with. Seriously, if I could just visit England I think I could be happy. LOL I just want to cross the pond. Maybe someday!

    Hazel - I'm so glad you enjoy my blog. It really means a lot to me. And thank you for the support - it means so much that everyone is supporting me.

  9. If you feel good about your decision, then it is indeed the right one. Good luck to you and I am sure you will be back on your feet in no time..if not, I hear tell cow shit is a great facial treatment. But not pig shit.. definitely not.

  10. Girl, it takes a lot to make that kind of life changing decision, but you are obviously miserable. Life is too short to continue down that path! I look forward to the many funny adventures you will have on the ranch and just from simply not being stressed so much.


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