Saturday, April 2, 2011

April Blogging Challenge: B is for Besties

I have been besties with my BFF for 14 years now. She's the best friend a girl could ask for. And yes, I am totally biased. We met in high school, our junior year, in Mrs. Bitchley's class. And just for reference, that was not the teacher's actual name, but she was rather bitchy, so it just sorta stuck. She was a transfer into the class half way through the year. One of my friends, S started to befriend her by telling her the stupidest random California facts ever. My BFF grew up in San Diego, which last time I checked was still in California, so why S thought she needed to spew stupid shit to M (my BFF) is far beyond me.

At one point, we each had to get up in front of class to present something. Possibly a speech or some stupid thing and M, I could tell, was practically petrified. I whispered to her "You'll do great!" or something equally as corny, and thus our friendship was forged. She was soon invited to my little birthday party, and was quickly incorporated into our little group.

She totally didn't understand the whole school spirit thing, apparently San Diego deems school spirit to be uncool, so no one has it. However, we were a country bumpkin school with cows as neighbors (yes, seriously), and she just didn't get it. Our senior year, we dragged her to home football games where she promptly froze her ass off in 65 degree weather. We basically gave her our sweaters and whatnot, as we figured her parents didn't want an M-sicle arriving home to melt on their carpet. We coined the term, "Ginko-What-The-Fuck" because we couldn't pronounce the last part of it.

During our first bit of college, we attended a local community college, and we both wound up working in the Admissions building at some point. That was probably not the best idea the staff had, but we reaped the benefits. She worked for the Testing/Placement Office and I was in Admissions. We were able to have lunch together quite often, which was usually the highlight of our days.

It was hard on both of us when I moved to Chico to attend Chico State. At one point I remember my boyfriend at the time visiting, my roommate at the house (the good one), and then a neighbor popped over thinking he recognized my roomie from high school (which turns out he was right - they are now married with a baby!), and M and I were on the phone. Suddenly she could hear all these voices in my apartment, and she was so upset that she started crying. She said something like, "It sounds like you're having so much fun." It broke my heart that I was having fun without her, and it broke my heart that she was upset. But we learned to cope - we visited pretty much every time I was drove to Redding to visit family.

I think college was a good time for us. We both learned that we could have all sorts of friends to hang out with and spend time with, but we enjoyed each other's company the best. In the summer, we would have picnic lunches in Redding at the park, right on the Sacramento River. We would spend entire afternoons just talking about absolutely everything.

Over time, we were never more than a couple hours away from each other. We were always there for each other when we needed each other. As time went on, she finally made the big choice to move to the Bay Area. I suddenly hated driving to visit her as it meant I had a dozen freeway changes (somehow every fucking freeway ends in "80"), and drive in traffic that was on crack and steroids.

It broke my heart that I couldn't physically be there for her when one of her brother's passed away suddenly in a car accident. I cried a lot. She knew she could call me anytime and I would be there for her - the proverbial shoulder to cry on. And she did. His funeral was on her 30th birthday. I mean, turning 30 was really hard for us both, but to add that to the pot was by far the suckiest thing ever. And I couldn't be there.

We've suffered through bitchy co-workers, crappy bosses, back-stabbing friends, crazy roommates (I should totally have her guest blog on here with her crazy roomie stories!), moves, travels, quarter-life crisis, tragedies, bad dating experiences - you name it, we've probably been through it. I even went to a concert with her a few years ago - I'd never heard of the band, but she was madly in love, so to stop her from yakking my ears off, I went with her. I was the only one of her friends she could ask because the band is gay, and her friends are mostly Mormon and don't handle the whole gay situation at all. I'm cool with it, it's just not for me. We had a great time; we were both happy and insulted that no one hit on us. More than likely everyone there thought we were an item. Or we give of really good straight vibes.

When I moved to Sticksville, I cried when I realized just how far away I'd be from M. Eight hours. We'd never been more than a couple hours apart. She assured me we'd be fine. That we have the kind of friendship that distance can't injure. I knew that deep down in my soul, but it was nice to hear. On my birthday this year, we hugged more times than I can count, as we had no idea when we'd be able to see each other again. It's been nearly two months.

We've found out over the years that we're opposites in at least as many ways as we're similar. She's not picky at all about what she eats, I am. She's a city girl, I'm a country girl. She loves red-heads, and I don't. I love period movies, she doesn't. I love bloody action movies, she'll run for the hills. She's in love with the arts of all kinds, me - not so much. She's much better with her money than I am. She's not very friendly with nature, where as I love it. She's not typically much of a cusser, where as I could quite possibly make a sailor blush.

But we "get" each other. We understand each other. We understand our gripes, our hopes, our fears, our loves, our obsessions, and our crazy shit.

These days, we practically have to pencil each other in to grab some phone time. But it's all worth it in the end. Therefore, I dedicate this post to my sister from another mother, born two months ahead of me. I love her like family, because after all this time, she is family.

Plus, she will forever be older than me. I shall never let her forget. ;p

Nor will I ever let her forget to "Stop being the victim!" ;p


  1. Haha. Sounds a lot like one of my best friends and myself. We are 18 days apart and she never lets me forget that I'm older. She lives in Florida (I'm in PA) and always has lived in Florida. Our friendship is amazing. We can not talk for forever then pick right back up. Not see eachother all year until summer then bam-we are back to causing trouble. I was maid of honor in her wedding 3 years ago and now she is pregnant with her second kid. Her mother passed in January...all these things happen with me so far away and it's difficult but we'll always be close no matter what. We are family. So glad you have that kind of friendship in your life, too!

  2. I'm always jealous of women with a best friend. I have never had a friend like this. However, I had 4 sisters, 2 daughters and a great mom, so I guess my besties were home grown.

    New follower here, nice to meet you!


  3. Jewels - My mom and her BFF have been friends for over 40 years, and I can't remember who is older, but they STILL never let each other forget which one's older. lol

    KarenG - Why, hello! Thanks for following! I'm an only child, so I no homegrown options for me. I had to go shopping. ;o)

  4. Awww, what a nice post! You're so lucky to have BFF like that. :-)

  5. I moved to Texas while my BFF stayed in Illinois. I moved to Illinois a few years after she moved to Florida, but we are still BFFs and still talk on the phone, skype, and see each other at least once a year.

    Lovely post!

  6. Soapbox - I'm so blessed to have a friend like her. :o)

    BJ Roan - It's nice that technology allows us to keep close to our friends even when separated by several states! And thanks for stopping by! :o)


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