Saturday, October 16, 2010

Psycho Roomie, Part X: The Cereal Box

Shortly before Christmas of 2002, my mom drove to Chico to come help me do my Christmas shopping. It's a tradition she and I have. She knows or has ideas as to what I can get people, and it's a good excuse to have a "girls day" and some fun.

I was getting ready that particular morning, and walked out to the kitchen to get something. Possibly a drink of water. Possibly breakfast. I have no idea. All I recall is needing to go to the kitchen, so I did. I saw a box of Suzi's cereal on the stove. We had burner covers, so it wasn't like it was sitting on a stove-top burner that was on and she was trying to burn down the apartment building or anything. Although, after the whole hot dog thing, I'm not sure I would be surprised if she did that.

I pick up the box of cereal (I believe it was a box of Cocoa Puffs), and find that it's empty. Completely devoid of cereal or the bag that holds said cereal. I'm pretty sure I had a look on my face that resembled this (although, maybe not quite so exaggerated):

I looked the box over to see if maybe there was a game on the back she wanted to play. Nope. I looked the box over to see if there might be a recipe of sorts she wanted to use. Nope. I looked the box over in case I saw something she wanted the proof of purchase to send in for. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing of interest in or on this box of cereal. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why this box was sitting on the stove. I figured it was trash, so I tossed into the garbage. (Now, she was home at this stage, so I could have just asked her but, that would have meant I would have had to talk to her.)

Upon going to my bathroom at the front end of the apartment to do my make-up, I noticed another surprise. A mess of DVD's on the living room floor. It may have been Dawson's Creek. Since they were in the main walking area, I went ahead and moved stuff towards my tiny entertainment center so no one would accidentally step on it. There was no way in Hell I would spend money on that horrid show.

I finished getting ready in my room, probably checked emails and whatnot. I eventually needed to go back into the kitchen. Or walked through it or something. Either way, I noticed something. Something that looked oddly like the cereal box I had tossed away. I walked up to the stove, and my eyes were not playing tricks on me. Suzi had obviously been in the kitchen since I had, and taken the box out of the garbage. And set it directly on the stove where it had sat previously. I just stared at it, thinking maybe the box my psychically tell me why it was sitting on the stove. Again. Well, shocking as it might be, the box told me nothing. If it had, I would have needed the boys in white coats to take me away. I put my hands up like it held a gun on me, and backed away. For whatever reason, I looked at the living room, and I'll be damned if that mess of DVD's wasn't exactly where it had been prior to me moving it - right smack in the middle of the floor.

By this time she was gone. She hadn't said anything to me about either the cereal box or the mess of DVD's. I decided that since she went through the trash to get that cereal box back, she actually needed it for something.

When my mom showed up, she first saw the mess of DVD's lying in the middle of the living room floor. She asked me about it and I told her what happened. She moved the DVD's like I had, closer to the TV, out of harms way. I told her that it would back in the middle of the floor when we got back. In the kitchen she sees the empty cereal box, and asks me about it. I again tell her what happened, and told her I was just going to leave it there. She tossed into the garbage. I tell her that it will be right back on the stove when we get back.

We spent most of the day shopping. Had a wonderful time.

When we got back to the apartment, the DVD's were back in the middle of the living room floor and the cereal box was back on the stove. Not joking. The look on my mom's face was priceless.

Eventually, mom left, and it was back to just me and Suzi. I never asked her about the cereal box or the DVD's, and she never said anything. I didn't move or toss anything, because I had a sneaking suspicion that it would be moved back again anyway.

A couple days after that shopping day, the cereal box was in the trash. Suzi had finally thrown it away. Being that it was on the top, I picked it up to see if anything had changed about the box. Nope. Not a single thing. And once she was done watching Dawson's Creek, it finally got packed up, too.

I'm thinking that those nice boys in the white coats should have been called in regards to her.


  1. Where the hell did you FIND her?!? Maybe she was fate so that you had someone to write about (you have to suffer for your art).


  2. Haha maybe she didn't want you tidying up her mess? So she kept bringing the box and dvds back just to be awkward? She is a weird one 0_o

    Hazel xxx

  3. Juniper - met her in my classes, we were the same major. But as far as I know, I turned out okay from the whole thing! A little wary of possible future roommates, perhaps . . . LOL

    Hazel - LOL I have no idea. It was days later that she threw stuff away. Anytime she watched a movie, the case sat in the middle of the living room floor. Weird is a polite way of putting it. LOL

  4. Wow, she's sure some special isn't she? Creepy!


  5. What a complete and utter nutter!

  6. have you done any research to see if she currently resides in a mental institution!? This girl is NOT right in the head!

  7. HAHAHA - I know for a fact that she's not. Unfortunately.

  8. DANG! She's crazy!!! What the heck?!?!?!?! I feel baaaaaaad for any man she ends up with.


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